How To Meet Women

Okay, so the holidays are coming up, and you gotta get your girl something nice.

But what?

It seems like every year it gets harder and harder to come up with something good to gift your lady with — especially if you’re on a budget.

Well, don’t worry.  Ol’ Joey Matt here has some ideas that are sure to work well for the holidays.

Gift Idea #1 — A Victoria’s Secret Gift Certificate

Please note:  This is not meant to be a gift in and of itself! This is supposed to SUPPLEMENT your real gift to your woman.  A “stocking stuffer” if you will.  All women love Victoria’s Secret because all women love to buy underwear, so this will not be an unwelcome gift.  $50 is sufficient, but $200 is better if you can afford it.  A girl can get a lot of great stuff at Victoria’s Secret for $200.

Gift Idea #2 — A Spa Trip

There’s an increasing trend in day spas where they offer a “couples spa,” where you and your girl can visit together and get massages and things.  Some spas that specialize in couples even offer some romantic acoutrements, such as champaign and candles and the like.  This can be a great romantic getaway for a day for the two of you.  Most of these packages can be had for less that $200, though some can get expensive the more you tack onto them.  But there’s a great chance you and your girl will enjoy the experience, and I guarantee you no other guy in her life ever thought of this as a gift!

Gift Idea #3 — Bath And Body Giftset

Stores that specialize in “Bath and Body” products are becoming more popular in the US, so you’ll find more of them at the malls than you could a few years ago.  A good Bath And Body giftset can be quite affordable AND sensual at the same time.  A good collection of bubble bath, body scrubs, scented candles, bath salts, etc. can be a nice and relaxing/erotic gift.  Have you ever told your girl you wanted to bathe her?  You can even make a special night of it!  It’s quite romantic.  But in case you’re too manly for that, she can get a lot of use from the giftset on her own.

Gift Idea #4 — Purses

Women love their accessories, and they collect purses like a crackhead collects crack — they just can never get enough of them.  And every year, new purses come out that they just have to have!  So why not get them one?  Head to any store you can think of and ask a saleswoman to show you the latest and greatest purse.  If you can afford a desgner purse, even better!

Gift Idea #5 — Pajamas

Get her some fun and comfortable pajamas in her favorite color (or yours, what the hell!).  Pajamas can be damn sexy, especially if she takes to wearing them around the house.  You can find some nice, comfortable PJs nice and cheap at places like Target.  Some nice pajama bottoms and a shirt that’s maybe one size too small can really get the blood pumping in the bedroom.  It’s sexy without being “overtly sexy.”

Gift Idea #6 — Perfume

An oldie, but a goodie.  Again, like the Victoria’s Secret deal, this shouldn’t be a gift in and of itself, but a supplement if you get one.  Perfume can be an odd thing, because it’s entirely dependent on taste.  You can try tracking down her favorite perfume, or you can find one you enjoy and give it to her while letting her know the scent drives YOU crazy.

Gift Idea #7 — Jewelry

This is my least favorite gift idea because it’s so “played.”  Girls get jewelry all the time.  If you’re going to get a girl a piece of jewelry, make it something “special.”  By that, i mean get something cheap (or affordable) from ebay, and make up a meaningful story behind it.  The sentiment will be a better presant than the jewelry itself.  Something like “I found this necklace on the street when I was a boy, and I kept it to remind me that beauty was something to be cherished instead of lost, and I promised myself I would only give it to a girl I felt was more special than anyone else in my life.  I know it might not be much, but I wanted to give it to you because you mean more to me than anything else, and you constantly remind me of how much I should cherish you, because you’re so special to me.”  Or something like that.  I recently gave a nice diamond necklass to my girlfriend and used this tactic, and it worked so well she started to cry.  (That’s when you know you done good!)  So remember, if you’re going to go the jewelry route, have a speech prepared that will add meaning to it, rather than just have it be another accessory in her wardrobe.

Gift Idea #8 — The Self-Made Gift

Self made gifts are always a winer, because the sentiment is there, along with the affordability, so if you’re on a tight budget, this could be the way to go.  Self-made gifts are exactly what they sound like, gifts you make yourself!  This can be jewelry, music, artwork, a video, poem, story, whatever!  So long as it comes from you and means something to you, chances are she will like it.

A guy named James888 has posted on the mASF board about his fear of losing a girl if he makes his move…

James888 writes:
After a lot of introspection, I have come to the conclusion that I fear escalation because I might go too far and lose her. I think my internal subconscious logic goes like this:

1) I meet comparatively few women, and it is hard work getting them to day2.
2) If I proceed slowly yet surely, I’m more likely to end up with her in the end.
3) If I go too fast, I might drive her off.

Small, slow, escalations lead closer and closer to sex. Faster escalations could cause her to recoil and take me further from sex.

I need someone to logic me out of this. The only escalations I’m subconsiously allowing myself are tiny ones that are easily backed off from.

For instance, the ONE GIRL I’ve layed, when I first kissed her, I was really only leaning in to kiss her cheek when she turned and kissed me. Minor escalation: a kiss on the cheek can’t be denied.

The ONS I almost had, I pre-emptively freezed her out so hard she almost left. Pre-emptive freeze out: I don’t have to deal with her denying me.

In fact, the only girl I’ve been able to reasonably quickly escalate is a fat girl who I wasn’t real attracted to in the first place, and who I eventually did not fuck because I was so turned off. See my LR-. I literally kicked her out.

Can someone talk me out of this problem? I think it’s due to some invalid social conditioning, that I should feel like a pervert if I escalate too fast and cause her to stop me.

Why am I asking? Because:

- I have a day2 tomorrow evening with a girl I am really attracted to.
- I am leaving for a month next week.
- I really hope to fuck her before this happens.

Don’t worry, I am not in a needy frame, I have other fish in the sea…I am just being realistic.

First off, I would say this to anyone out there experiencing a similar problem:  DO NOT BE AFRAID TO LOSE A GIRL!

I know that’s easier said than done, and it’s hard to risk losing a girl you’ve come to like.  But be honest here — wouldn’t you rather lose a girl and move on to one you like and who likes you back, than waste your time with a girl who isn’t going to go any further with you?

What James888 is doing here is looking at his situation from a scarcity standpoint.  He said himself he doesn’t meet many girls, so the ones he does hang out with are very important to him.  This is a BAD frame to be in.  You need to come from a place of ABUNDANCE if you hope to get anywhere with women.  The whole “Take it or leave it” attitude is a powerful one that can save you from a lot of heartbreak in the end.

Seriously — James888 really needs to read The Art Of Approaching!  He’d have his problem solved in minutes!

But more than having an “abundancy mindset,” is the ability to escalate according to the situation.

Some girls are ready to move faster than others, but in James’ case, he’s moving at a SNAILS pace because he’s afraid to take it any farther than he is comfortable with.

Look–when it comes to escalating into physical stuff with women, it’s a question of what THEY are comfortable with, not what YOU are comfortable with.  A girl could be perfectly ready and willing to make out with you, while you are still feeling scared and uncomfortable.

You have to learn to recognize the SIGNS that the girl is attracted to you, and then you have to be willing to build on that, and continue to be aggressive in doing so.  When you do this right, you will NEVER lose your girl.  Girls are lost when you make a move they are not ready for, and they become defensive.  This happens ONLY when you ignore the signs she gives you and focus too much on your own feelings (trust me, it’s just as bad to not make a move when you should as it is to make a move when you shouldn’t!)

That’s why learning the attraction signals of a woman, and how to read her body language, is so important.

Hey guys,

Hope you enjoyed the last audio bit I did for Halloween. Here’s another one for you on how to create simple, easy costumes for Halloween night that will help you meet more women than you know what to do with!

Holla back in the comments.

Juggler has a post up on his blog which explains his basic structure of pick-up:

This is the basic structure:

1. Get a commitment
2. Reward her
3. She shows interest
4. Reveal your attraction (SOI)
5. Find info
6. Make appropriate close or continuation

Wayne

That’s what I like about Juggler - he’s a man of few words.  =)

I found a rather interesting and amusing post from a guy going by electrobank over on the mASF forums. His post was about women who specifically go out looking for one night stands, and how to spot them. Check it out…

Electrobank writes:
I’ve talked to many girls who I’ve been with as well as random girls I’ve met about under what circumstances they or their friend would go home with or have a ONS with a guy they met in a bar or club. The majority of them say (as most guys already know) that most girls already know before they go out that they’re planning on going home with a guy that night and that everything they do and wear is planned to attract the right guy for hooking up or having sex with that night.
In one case I talked to a group of girls who were friends of a girl my friend took home and they were telling me all about how she had planned it before she even came out and that they helped her get dressed up that night with the intent of having a ONS. They went into detail about the black dress with the laces on the back & the slit in the front that they picked out, the body glitter on her chest, ect, ect. This was all intentionally planned, my friend didn’t game her into it, she was going to do this with someone and he just happened to be the lucky one who approached her. Also, since the friends knew about it they helped it to happen, so he didn’t get any resistance.

I know guys who seem to have a radar for girls like this. They can spot out the girls who are going to put out that night and usually get them home that night, while others who have even better game and looks who don’t pick up on things like this don’t have much luck getting girls home the night they meet them because they’re hitting on the wrong ones. It’s not always as simple as looking for the drunkest girl, the sluttiest dressed girl or the most social one, there’s other subtleties that distinguish a girl who is determined to get laid that night from the rest. They might not even be a slutty girl or have even ever done this before but for whatever reason, maybe a bad breakup or issues in their life, they feel they can resolve them with a night of causal sex.
So for the guys who have a talent for seeking these girls out, what are some of the things you look for? Ways they dress, how they act when they’re out, what they say, ect?

Yes, it’s true, girls get horny too. This IS a phenomenon that I see in the bar/club scene as well.

Now, it’s hard to spot EVERY girl looking to hook up in a bar and club, but there are a few tell-tale signs that will help you to spot them. However, know that because she’s looking for a One Night Stand hook-up, she will be placing a greater importance on looks than most girls normally do. That said, you don’t know what type of looks she may find attractive, so don’t let this take you out of the game prematurely.

First of all, you can spot these girls from the way they are dressed. Most of them will dress very provacatively. They’ll definitely be gussied up, but usually they’ll do something like not wear a bra, so you can see their nipples or something. They’ll also usually be showing a lot of skin.

The second thing is, these girls will tend to be “attention whores” that night. They’ll be trying to attract as much attention to themselves as possible to get guys to approach them. So if you see a girl being very outgoing and courting attention, that will be a sure sign.

Finally, look at the way her friends are acting. If they’re letting her go on and do stuff that normally, girls would let other girls do (like make out with a stranger, act a little wild, whatever), you’ll be able to tell that they know the girl’s intention.
I’m sure there are various other signs, but those are the 3 biggest ones I notice.

Found an interesting post over on mASF about the question of chicks and guys who play music.  Check it out:

Bede writes:
One of the things I’ve noticed over the years is that girls get really turned on when I play the piano. I’m pretty good, and I focus on playing jazz and blues. If I play at a friend’s party I quickly get surrounded by HBs.

Anyone else have a similar experience? Another interesting thing is this: I have several friends who are talented classical musicians, but they don’t seem to do anything like as well off the back of their skills. It seems the chicks either prefer the kind of music I play *or* they are more attracted to guys who can master the improvisational style rather than just “playing off the dots”.

I guess I could make up an evolutionary reason for this - girls like guys who are fast thinkers, dextrous, etc. or maybe just guys who have fine motor control in their fingers

Any thoughts?

Well, it’s a bit simpler than any evolutionary trigger there might be.  I mean, c’mon.  Cavewomen weren’t going ga-ga for Cromm when he was beating on his stone drums.

The reason women are so into musicians, and ESPECIALLY rock stars (though rock stars have the added benefit of massive social proof) is a very simple one.

Women are EMOTIONAL creatures.  They respond to emotion.  They are empathetic.

Music EVOKES emotion.

Therefore, the emotions experienced from the music get linked to the musician playing the music.

It’s THAT simple.

How many times have you caught yourself rocking out to a certain song?  Remember the feeling you experienced when that happened?  It was a powerful emotion!  And when women experience that, their brains are hard-wired to direct those powerful, positive emotions directly to their attraction centers.

The best skill any guy could learn to pick up chicks is to learn a musical instrament, preferably a guitar, since it’s easily mobile and has a mystique around it.  Here in LA, there are guys who actually go to clubs who serenade anyone with a guitar and a violin for a few bucks, just doing cover songs, and they get laid All The Time.

Music is powerful.  Don’t discount it.

A student of mine sent in a question concerning difficulty “closing the deal.”

My problem is not so much HOW to meet women, or even what to say to them. My BIGGEST problem is feeling comfortable enough to close the deal and head to the bedroom, and even knowing when to do it.  It’s what I want obviously, but I get extremely nervous.  I’m not greatly experienced in the sack but I have been told I know what I’m doing, yet I still get worried that I’m not going to perform like I should.  I’m not sure how to handle this other than to just get out there and do it, but I am wondering if there is anything i can do to ease the initial tension of having sex with new people.  I would appreciate a response.  Your e-mails have been very helpful to me and I thank you for you help.

I feel ya, brutha.

When I was starting to get good at this, I had advanced my skills to the point where meeting, dating, and talking to women wasn’t a problem at all.  But I was STILL dropping the ball when it came time to make my move!

And the crappy thing about that is, if a girl wants you to make a move, and you don’t do it - no matter how many chances she gives you - she’s eventually going to think you’re not interested and move on.  And once that happens, it’s EXTREMELY hard to get a second chance with her.  And then there are times where the opportunity to make your move is there, and once it’s gone, she’s just lost interest.

That is why it is IMPERATIVE you take action when the time is right!

Being uncomfortable in the late game really has to do with inexperience.  If you’re worried about how you’re going to perform, how you’re going to make your move, whatever - you’re going to take yourself out of the game. And also, don’t forget the fact that at this stage of the game, you and the girl will be in deep rapport (if you’ve done your job right).  This means that if YOU get nervous/uncomfortable, then SHE will become nervous and uncomfortable too.  Never a good thing.

Here’s the thing… just relax, and instead of focusing on all the unknowns, imagine success instead.  Imagine you performing great, and having a fun time.  Focus on the good things about the experience, and keep your energy and attitude positive.

Learn to make your move and make out with her.  Once the petting starts, you’ll find the tension goes away.

So how do you know when to make your move?

LEARN HOW TO READ HER BODY LANGUAGE!!!!

(Seriously, I don’t know how many times I have to say this.)

Body Language will give you all the cues and hints you need to know when she’s ready to be kissed.  To learn this, check out The Art Of Approaching, because I go into great detail about the body language cues you need to learn to spot these opportunities.

And once you’ve made your move, take a STRONG LEAD.  Meaning, be the one who decides where the interaction goes.  Be the one who looks her in the eye, and says “Let’s take this to the bedroom.”  Be the one who takes her by the hand and leads her to your bed.  Be the INITIATOR (TM)!

Once you do this, and accept your role, you’ll find the awkwardness disappears.

The American Chronicle (you know, that online bastion for solid dating advice) has an article up telling people how to write a good, content-rich online dating profile. Check it:

Pradeep Aggarwal writes:
Are you trying to find the man or woman of your dreams? Online dating can help you find your potential date. You need to write a personal ad or a dating profile which will give you an opportunity to select your soul mate. An online dating ad which is written clearly is informative and full of good content will fetch you quality responses.

We find certain profiles on online dating sites which are written spontaneously and they lack creativity. These kind of profiles will lead you to attracting the wrong kind of person. The common mistakes that people make in their dating profiles are mentioned below. Read them carefully and avoid repeating these mistakes.

The dating profiles have sentences like “I am a witty person having a great sense of humor” Instead of that you could write something humorous in your profile. Sexual innuendos should be avoided as it gives a wrong impression the first time. Write something romantic instead of writing that your are sexy and flirtatious.

Avoid using adjectives like honest, lovable, creative, and imaginative or that you have an above average IQ while describing yourself. Instead mention that you are an artist or a musician etc. It is also important to present yourself in positive manner. You could write that you like reading or mountain climbing or walking by the beach instead of saying that you are bored so you wrote this ad.

Show a positive attitude to online dating. Mention that you are interested in meeting new people who are interested and having common interests. Avoid writing that you are interested in the guy who makes you laugh (shows a depressed side of yourself). You are not looking for a clown to make you laugh but you are looking for a Date.

Mention your preferences clearly. Don’t write that you are interested in fair complexioned women but maybe if they are dark but attractive you may consider. It is a turn off to both the women.

The Ad should reflect your positivity and should be informative and rich in content. A well written Ad will always give you success in getting a good response to online dating.

All in all, not some bad advice.  But if you really want to get a heads-up on your internet dating skillz, there is no other option - go to the Insider Internet Dating website and learn from Dave M.  The guy is a MACHINE I tells ya!  I’ve never seen anyone pull more online ass in my life.  DM’s got the goods, and his tactics put Pradeep’s to shame.

It’s the biggest question on every man’s perverted mind. “How Do I Get Laid Fast?”

Screw getting laid slow! I’m lazy and imapatient, and I wanna get laid NOW! NOW DAMN IT, NOW!!!

Well, short of the obvious way of going out and getting yourself a hooker, how can you possibly get laid fast? Well, I guess you have to define what you mean by fast.

Are you talking “fast” as in “immediately, right this second?” Or are you talking “fast” as in “After I meet a girl, I want to know how to get her into bed the quickest way possible?”

If it’s option A, nothing short of the hooker or f-buddy option is going to suffice. If option B, there are a few tricks you can use to increase your chances of speeding up bedroom gymnastics. (more…)