How To Meet Women

Some guy who writes a blog called (gayly enough) Sticky Butter write a diatribe about how he believes all men are a *little* gay.

I would like to start off by saying the opinions expressed in this post are not the opinions of all men. Probably not the opinions of all women either. It is however, the bold opinion of the man writing this post, me. Now why in hell would I be thinking such…I’ll say nonsense for arguement sake, in the first place. The answer…I really don’t have one. Not one that would make reasonable sense. It may be a cummulation of observations that I have stored away for such a moment as this one. Or it could be solely because of the middle aged gentleman I caught taking a peak at the hardware before I hit the shower after a long workout. Whatever the reason, who’s to say I am completely off base here. Is what I am going to say controversial? Maybe. Uninformed? Maybe. Truthful? Maybe. It could be all three and more for all I know. But what I do know is that it is an interesting idea.

Take for instance, the simple act of peeing in a public urinal. Gentlemen, you know the usual scene. Man walks in and pisses in the short urinal instead of the big boy one that is right next to you. Why? For what reason? To more efficiently fight the urge to look at your junk out of the corner of his eye to see what your holding? Chances are he will do it anyway because men are wired in a way that makes us very competitive. And the size of your “member” seems to be a big determinant of your manhood. Personally, I find it pretty easy to look down and away or straight ahead at the wall, but I to have fell to the temptation to sneak a peak just like the rest of you. Does it make you gay? Well…no. A little gay? Yeah maybe.

Not yet convinced that all of us may have a little gay in us? (Pun not intended) Think on this thought. You are going to have to swallow (again, not intended) your pride and ego on this one. Somewhere during your life time you have wondered what it would be like to kiss another guy. You don’t have to admit it out loud if you don’t want to. But dammit if it ain’t true. Now the thought alone does not make you gay or bi-sexual unless you act on it, or in a movie where your getting boo-coo dollars to do it (Brokeback Mountain). But does it make you a little gay? Yeah maybe.

Still unconvinced? How about the infamous prank known to all men as Tea-bagging. What is not gay about dropping your nuts on another man’s chin? Should I mention Brown-nosing? Not only is that gay, its raunchy gay. Now we’ve all done them. And are they a little gay? Yeah maybe. [Sidebar: Guys also think that fucking a guy in the ass is not gay because you are not receiving it, or receiving a blow job from another guy is not gay because you are not performing that act. Just to clear all that up. No matter how you try to reason them out, both are very gay. You are gay. Deal with it.]

If you are still not convinced, you are probably a narrow-minded homophobic douchbag. But here I go. One more reason why you are probably a little gay. Porno. We all watch it, we all love it. Nothing is better to watch than some chick getting face fucked, ass raped, gangbanged, or pussy plowed over and over again. Unless of course it’s you doing all those things. [Disclaimer: Actually face fucking, ass raping, gangbanging and pussy plowing another human being without proper consent is wrong and I do not personally condon those actions] Now here’s the gay factor. Do you want to watch some dude with a pencil thin dick doing all those things you dream you could do just once? No fucking way! You want the guy strapped with a Colt .45 handling that business. Is that a little gay? Yeah maybe.

So there you have it. A few reasons why, if you think about it, you may just be a little gay.

The author of this post is not gay. He has never had a gay encounter. He is fiance’d to a beautiful woman whom he loves dearly. But does this post make him a little gay? Yeah maybe.

Not that there’s anywthing WRONG with that… =)
On a side note - I have never, nor have I ever met anyone - who has “teabaged” another guy. Nor have I ever heard of “brown nosing” another dude in the context this guy is using it. But I think it’s pretty obvious that if you do ANYTHING with your junk or ass that has to do with another guy, that’s pretty darn gay.

I think this blog post was inspired by that scene from the 40 Year Old Virgin where the guys are spouting out reasons why each other is gay. Like “Know how I know you’re gay? I once saw you bake a loaf of bread with cheese in it.” That’s what this sounds like. “Want to know how I know you’re gay? Because I once saw you dip your balls on another man’s chin.”

Personally, I think some of this guy’s logic is flawed.  Like the porno stuff.  So you see another guy’s dick… big deal.  Is looking at a dick while you’re focusing on the woman gay?  Not in my book.  And what if the only porno you watch is lesbian?  Is that still gay since there are no dicks around?  Maybe I’m just a homophobic douchbag, but I think intention has a lot to do with truly being “homosexual.”  But if you’re using “gay” as an adjective to describe situations and things, then yeah, I guess we’ve all been accidentally gay before.

(Not that there’s anything wrong with that! =)

So I guess some condom company in Hong Kong is trying to innovate by adding smooth tunes to their latex.

Forget chocolates or roses this Valentine’s Day — a gift of musical condoms is bound to be more entertaining.

Hong Kong’s Ondo Creation, which makes designer condoms, hopes its Idom sheathes will put a more romantic spin on safe sex — and reduce the risk of a slap on the face that a pack of six might elicit among some conservative Asians.

The Idom itself doesn’t sing — but the mint, strawberry, chocolate and banana flavored condoms come in an attractive package with a music CD to get you in the mood for love.

“We create an environment for lovers who would like to try a different experience,” said Victor Tsang who runs Ondo Creation.

“We try to create products that are not embarrassing, but very trendy and hip. It’s a lifestyle product,” he added.

My only question is… how do you fit the CD in your wallet?  =)

We all know of the famous Red Light District in Amsterdam where all the sex workers hang out.  Well, now it looks like the city is erecting (ha haa) a statue in honor of all these  hard working women (and men, apparently) who probably do more for the local economy than all the legalized drugs do.

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - Amsterdam’s red-light district will soon get a new attraction: a statue to honor prostitutes around the world.

The statue, designed by artist Els Rijerse, will likely be unveiled at the end of March, Dutch news agency ANP reported.

“In many countries, prostitutes struggle and people have no respect for them whatsoever. The statue is meant to give all those men and women strength,” Mariska Majoor, a former prostitute who commissioned the statue, told ANP.

ANP said the statue, made of bronze, shows a woman who confidently looks out into the world.

So prostitutes everywhere can be satisfied to know that their work has now been immortalized.  Though, I’m thinking they could have done a better job of what the statue could look like.  =)

Okay, in what will probably be a series of posts here and there, I want to just point out a few reasons why I love women so much. (After all, we shouldn’t forget why we’re here, right?)

The fact that girls would make videos like this one, is just one of the many reasons why I love women. =)

Shake that money-maker!

Okay, so when I heard there were pictures out there of Brittany Spears showing off her junk, I gotta admit… I was curious.

I mean, who wouldn’t be, right?  After all, she is a music superstar with a “goody two shoes” image.  The whole “good girl gone bad” thing can be pretty hot.  Plus I wanted to know if having 2 kids had changed things for her.  Actually, i was more curious as to if K-Fed changed things for her.  But judging from these pictures, I can’t really tell:

Brittany Spears With No Underwear.

So now we’ve seen Brittany and Paris in all their Glory.  If we can get images of Lindsey Lohan, we’d have the holy trinity of celebrity nudity here!

I found the ultimate dating site for rich guys who don’t want to waste their time…

SeekingArrangement.com

This is just WAY too funny!  In a way, it’s kind of like a more honest Millionaire Match website.  Basically, you sign up as either a rich man or woman, or a man or woman looking for a sugar daddy/mommy.  In your profile, you state how much you’re willing to pay or accept for a beneficial “arrangement.”

It’s pretty much an escort site for old men and hot young women.  But I will say this — the girls on the site appear to be quite attractive!  Most of them seem to be based in New York or Canada, and they look to be either college students or models.  The prices range from “I want a jaguar!” to “Give me $2K a month and I’ll be happy.”  The girls list what they’re willing to do in exchange for their sugar daddy’s attention, but for the most part, you can guess they’re willing to whore themselves out for the green at the end of the day.

I haven’t signed up for this service (lord knows I don’t make nearly enough money to be anyone’s sugar daddy), but if there are any rich readers out there who want to give it a shot and report back to me on how it is, please feel free!  I think the service is free to sign up with.

At last — some honesty in online dating!  lol.

So I found this article where some guys listed the worst lines a girl ever gave them to turn them down from a date.  Some of them are doozies.  Here are a few of my favorites:

“A woman told me she was probably going to be too tired the night I asked her out… but she told me this two days ahead of time.” -Kevin, 41, Dallas, TX

“A girl I liked said she wouldn’t date people born the same month she was.” -Greg, 22, Wilmington, DE

“She told me she had to go buy the donuts for her Singles with STDs group. Point taken.” -Greg, 32, San Diego, CA

Read more of them here.

Wow, wow, and wow.  Check out what I just found in the latest edition of FHM magazine…

FHM Reports:
In TV Land’s new reality show I Pity The Fool, Mr. T brings his mohawk - and no formal counseling training - to bear on real people’s problems, offering such advice as, “Don’t be disrespecting no lady, fool.”  The transformations begin October 11 at 10 p.m.

You can pity the official site of all this jibba-jabber here. (Be warned, the pity will be flying as soon as you load the page!)

Best.  Idea.  For.  A.  TV.  Show.  Ever.

Screech from “Saved by the Bell” made a porno where he gives girls a “Dirty Sanchez“.

From The New York Daily News:
He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom “Saved by the Bell.” But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

We can’t get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a “Dirty Sanchez.”

Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood’s biggest celebrity-skin deals, confirms that he’s acquired the rights to a tape featuring Diamond.

“Just when you think you have seen everything in this business,” he tells us, “mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it.”

Schmidt is in L.A., shopping the tape to Hustler’s Larry Flynt, Vivid’s Steven Hirsch and other major distributors of adult video.

Now age 29, the 6-foot Diamond is much brawnier than you may remember him. He’s a black belt in karate, and, four years ago, he defeated Ron Palillo (Horshack on “Welcome Back, Kotter”) on Fox’s “Celebrity Boxing 2.”

Diamond’s manager, Roger Paul, said his client has become a successful standup comic and will appear on the ABC sitcom “The Knights of Prosperity.”

“I haven’t seen the tape,” Paul told us. “I’ve heard rumors. Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings.”

In 1996, former “Saved by the Bell” sweetheart Elizabeth Berkley bared all in the Paul Verhoeven-Joe Eszterhas trashterpiece, “Show Girls.”

The sex vid’s working title is “Saved by the Smell.” Ewwwww.

It’s like christmas already.  =)

Here is the advice Sean Penn gives to boys dating his 15 year old daughter…

Sean Penn says:
“I tell them that whatever they do to my daughter that night, they better be prepared to come home and do it to me too.”

Wow, and they give Michael Jackson a hard time.