How To Meet Women After Divorce

Most guys who’ve gone through a divorce can be scared of betting back into the dating game.

After all, being in a marriage meant never having to actively go out and attract women.

Typically, guys who were good with women before getting married find that their skills with the ladies just “aren’t what thy used to be.” And guys who struggled until they found their (now ex) wives believe they’re going to struggle even worse now that they’re back on the market.

Add to that the fact that a freshly divorced man tends to be older, fatter, and balder than he was when he first got married, and his insecurities about his looks can actually prevent him from getting success with new women!

Luckily, meeting women after a divorce doesn’t have to be difficult. Here are some simple steps you can follow to help you start meeting more women right away…

STEP 1: Figure Out What You Want

Most guys don’t know how to get back into the dating game because they have no idea what they actually want! So before you even start thinking about meeting girls, figure out what your goals are.

Are you looking to get back into a serious relationship? Or do you just want something casual and fun? Do you want to get married again? Or do you want to enjoy being single for a while?

What about the type of woman you want? Would you be willing to date a single mom? Do you want to go after a younger woman? An older woman?

Think about what you want to have, and once you figure out what you’re looking for, you’ll find that you’ll be able to achieve it easier than if you had no idea what it was you wanted.

STEP 2: Set Aside Time To Meet New Women

The life of a freshly divorced man can be difficult and hectic. Maybe you had to move to a new place? Maybe you have to work harder to pay for alimony. Maybe you have kids and you have to spend time with them.

The list of things you have to deal with now that your single can be long and overwhelming. But if you want to meet a new woman, you must set aside time to focus on your dating life!

Give yourself a little bit of time every day to focus your energy and attention on meeting girls, and then set aside at least 1 or 2 days for a “date night,” or a night where you can actually go out with a woman you’ve met.

If you don’t make time for bringing women into your life, guess what? IT WON’T HAPPEN! So schedule accordingly.

STEP 3: Use Online Dating Services

If you’re nervous about getting back into the field, or you just want a fast way to start meeting women on your busy schedule, the internet is a great place to start.

Women online are actively looking for a great guy to date, so you know the girls you contact on these sites would be in the market. But more than that, it’s also extremely easy to meet lots of women! Just send them an email and see if they respond. It’s as simple as that.

STEP 4: Use Your Friends And Family

Don’t forget about the power of networking when it comes to meeting new women. Ask your friends and family members to introduce you to a woman they think would be a good match for you.

Some guys don’t like to go this route, because they don’t want to seem like they need help. But meeting a woman through friends and family is actually much easier than meeting a woman on your own, because you have a system in place to “build you up” before the girl ever meets you.

Having a female friend or your mother play matchmaker can be really beneficial. Just make sure you’re clear with the people helping you out what you are looking for in a woman.

STEP 5: Be Social

When you’re married, most of your social life revolves around your wife and family. However, after a divorce, you have to get out of the house and actively be social with other people.

Go to your kid’s soccer games or school events, and mingle with other single parents. Go to happy hour with your co-workers after you get off the job. Invite people to go to sporting events and movies with you.

Do whatever you can think of to get out of the house and mingle with other people. This is how you meet new women, or people who can introduce you to new women.

Here are some extra tips to help you out with your quest to meet a new girl to have in your life…

• Never talk bad about your ex-wife when you meet a new woman. This can come off as you being bitter with women, and could reflect badly on you. If the subject of your ex comes up, just say “There was a time when she was the light of my life, but now I’m moving on.” It’s better to be classy than bitter.
• Brush up on your conversation skills. Don’t be afraid to chat up a woman innocently. Ask questions, be interested in her. You don’t have to go for the date right away.
• Don’t worry about your age, weight, or bald spot. If you let these things bother you, they’ll lower your confidence and keep you from success with a girl. Better to focus on the reasons WHY a woman would be attracted to you than reasons why she WOULDN’T.
• Text messaging can be great for dating. Be sure to use texting to keep in touch with all the new women you meet. If you aren’t used to texting, learn to love it! It will really help you when setting up a date.
• Go after what you want. Don’t settle for a woman you don’t really like just because she’s convenient. Date as many women as it takes to find one that actually makes you happy.

Most of all, remember that dating is supposed to be fun and exciting! Try and have a good time meeting new people and being more social. If you’re not having fun, it’ll be hard to meet the right woman for you.

How To Meet Women On MySpace

One of the most popular online social networking websites operating today is MySpace.  Despite the popularity of other sites like Facebook and Twitter, MySpace is still going strong and isn’t going away anytime soon.

With a userbase of over 200 million members, MySpace is the perfect candidate to use in your efforts to meet women.  In fact, it’s one of the best resources available to guys looking to find women to date!

Why is this?

Because not only is MySpace free to use (a feature which ensures many, many women will use it), but MySpace actually augments, and to a certain extent, replaces the social lives of the women who use it!

What I mean by this is, women who use MySpace regularly depend on it to keep in touch with friends and fulfill their social needs.  A busy girl with no time for dating or going out with friends can still feel connected to people by logging onto MySpace, chatting, sending emails, and seeing updates from their friends.

Not only that, women on MySpace tend to skew younger, which means the average age for girls who use MySpace is between 18 and 30.  This actually makes meeting the women on MySpace a much easier task, because many of the women you’ll be contacting aren’t as jaded as women who’ve been playing the dating game for years.

On top of everything else, there’s a huge advantage to using MySpace to meet women because people don’t think of it as a “dating site,” therefore you’ll find lots of girls aren’t expecting guys to contact them and try and pick them up.

This means the barrier to meeting women is far less than a site that’s more of a “meat market,” like Match.com.  The reason for this is because girls on dating sites get deluged with emails from guys trying to “get with them.”  On MySpace, girls typically only get emails from people they know.

So here are a few easy steps you can follow to start meeting beautiful women on MySpace…

STEP 1:  Create A Profile

Creating a profile on MySpace is free and very easy to do.  In fact, the whole process will take you less than five minutes to complete.

STEP 2:  Fill Out Your Profile

Once your profile is created, you’ll want to put information about yourself on it.  Think of it like creating a profile for a dating site.  You’ll want to have a flattering picture of yourself, an interesting headline that will grab people’s attention, and some information about yourself and the type of woman you are looking to meet.

Be sure to include your interests in your profile.  This is a great way to give people conversation topics to chat with you about after checking out your profile.

You can also personalize your profile by changing the theme of your layout, adding music you like, adding videos you enjoy, and a whole host of other things to make your profile more personal.

STEP 3:  Add People You Know As Friends

After your profile is created, invite some people you know to become friends with you.  Having a small number of friends helps you look more “normal.”  It’s inadvisable to begin contacting women right away without having any friends yet, since this makes it look like you’re just trying to use the site to meet chicks (something that’s actually a turn off for most girls on MySpace!)

MySpace makes this easy by accessing your address book and sending out friend requests via email.  But be sure to only send an invite to people you feel comfortable letting see your profile!  You may want to uncheck coworkers and the like.

STEP 4:  Search For Women

MySpace has a great search feature that allows you to look for exactly the type of people you’d like to be “friends” with.  Just click the Search button, but be sure to use the “Advanced Search” option.

This will allow you to search based on gender, age, race, height, and most importantly, location!

I typically like to search for women, age 18-30, who are interested in dating, within 10 miles of my zip code.

The results you get should be numerous, especially if you live in or around a big city.  Simply browse through the pictures in the results, and find girls you think are attractive, and check out their profile pages.

STEP 5:  Contact Women

Once you find a profile you like, click the button to send them an email.  This is done through MySpace’s system.

Your email should be short, sweet, and most of all – fun and interesting!

Sending an email that just says “Hey what’s up?” won’t get you anywhere.  Instead, make your email one to two paragraphs, commenting on something about her and how well you think you’d get along.

So sending an email like:

“Hey, I was just checking through MySpace and stumbled across your profile.  You seem totally awesome!  Seriously, if you were living in the 80’s, you’d probably be ranked up there with Def Leopard and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, that’s how awesome your profile is, lol.

Anyway, we should chat.  Email me back and tell me what your favorite 80’s movie is, and we’ll compare notes.”

As you can see, the response above is short, interesting, somewhat humorous, and bound to get a girl’s attention.

Contact as many women as you like using this method.

STEP 6:  Follow Up

You’ll find most women you contact will begin to respond to you.  Continue to email back and forth, and even add them as a friend if you like them.  Allow them to get to know you.

Once enough rapport has been built up, you say you’re bored with email and ask them for their number so you can text them.

Telling them you’re going to text them as opposed to call them is important, because then they’ll be sure to give you their cell phone number, and they’re not committing to have to talk to you on the phone.  Most girls will be willing to share their cell phone number if you approach them like this.

Once you have the number, start texting, ask when a good time to chat is, and then call them up at the appropriate time to set up a date, or a get-together.

It’s really that simple to meet women on MySpace.  And you’ll find the quality of women, in terms of looks, is much better than most paid dating sites!

Here are some other quick tips to help you use MySpace to get dates…

• Download MySpace Messenger so you can chat with your friends and other women when you’re online.  IM sessions go a long way towards establishing rapport!
• Look through your friend’s friends to find girls you like.  Meeting through someone you both mutually know can make the transition to romance much easier than approaching a girl you don’t know.
• Dating is a numbers game, so try and meet as many women through MySpace as possible to maximize your chances of finding a winner.
• Ask women you meet throughout your life if they’re on MySpace, and get their email so you can add them as friends.  This is a great way to keep in touch and follow up with women you’re interested in.
• Don’t worry about messing things up with one girl.  There are so many women on MySpace, and new ones signing up every day, you’ll always have another chance to get things right.

Meeting women on MySpace can be fun, easy, and most of all – effective!  Instead of wasting your time on paid dating sites, give MySpace a shot and see what kind of results you can get.

How To Meet Women At The Gym

If you’re the type of guy who likes to work out and take care of yourself, then chances are you spend a lot of time at the gym.

In fact, it’s not unusual for guys to spend anywhere from an hour to two hours a day working out!

From personal experience, when I work out, I’ll be at the gym five days a week, alternating between an hour of cardio and an hour of weight training.

And that time at the gym adds up!  Some people even go further by joining classes, getting a personal trainer, and hanging out at the local juice bar.  So it’s no surprise that because some of us spend so much time at the gym, we’d like to know how to meet women there!

After all, it’s not just the fact that some guys spend a lot of time working out at the gym, there’s also the fact that some very attractive women spend a lot of time there too!  (In an effort to remain as attractive as possible, of course.)

But as much as it makes sense to try and meet girls during your workout, it can seem like a very daunting task!  But if you know a few simple tricks for meeting women at the gym, you might be surprised to find that it’s actually easier to do than you think.

Let’s go through the tips now…

TIP #1:  Taking Advantage Of Cardio

Typically, people will do cardio workouts for anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour.  Let’s face it, that’s a LONG time to do nothing but run in place!

If you see an attractive girl you’d like to meet doing cardio, see if you can get on a machine next to her to do your cardio.  This will give you the opportunity to start up a conversation with her.

You’ll be amazed at how easy it is to talk to someone when they’re doing a cardio workout, and that’s because cardio is BORING.  The girl will typically be watching closed-caption TV, flipping through a magazine, or listening to music on an iPod.  But talking to someone can pass the time just as fast, and as long as your approach is smooth, she’ll be more than willing to chat with you!

TIP #2:  Find Out Her Playlist

One of the biggest obstacles guys face at the gym is competing with iPods.  People like to listen to music when they work out, and seeing a pair of ear-plugs can scare you off from starting a conversation.

But I’ve found that actually asking the woman about the music she listens to when working out is a great way to not only get her to listen to you instead of music, but a good way to quickly bond with her over mutual interests.

The way I do it, is I’ll try and get the girl’s attention, either by waving at her or tapping her on her shoulder.  This will get her to pause her music and look at me.  Then I’ll say…

“Sorry to bother you, do you mind if I ask what music you’re listening to?”

When she give you her answer, you can respond:

“I’m getting kind of bored with my music, so I’m looking for some new stuff to listen to during my workout.  What kind of music do you think is the best to workout to?”

From there, I can start talking about favorite bands, concerts I’ve been to, etc.  It’s a great way to get her attention away from her iPod and focused on you!

TIP #3:  Offer Advice

Often times, you’ll see girls working out throughout the gym on various machines or weights.  A great way to start up conversations with them is to offer them advice or feedback on their form.

Just make sure that it’s “friendly” suggestions, and that you’re not telling them they’re doing things wrong.

People at the gym who work out without personal trainers usually have mistakes in how they are using machines or performing a certain exercise.  So if you can offer them some tips on how to make their workout more effective, they’ll actually really appreciate it!

And once you offer them your advice, you can start asking them about their training goals, and carry on the conversation from there.

This is a very effective way of meeting girls who are weight training.

TIP #4:  Join A Class

Most gyms offer a variety of classes you can sign up for.  These range from yoga, to spinning, to dancing, etc.

Here’s a tip – most of these classes are filled by a majority of WOMEN.  So taking a class can give you a tremendous opportunity to meet girls!

Not only that, but many classes can become social functions, and give you excuses to talk and chit-chat with girls.  I can’t tell you how many girls I’ve dated because I was the only guy in their class at the gym.

You’ll also notice a lot of the girls in your classes also work out at the gym, so you have a great way of meeting them if you see them in the general training area.  Just approach them and say “Hey, aren’t you in my spinning (or whatever) class?”

Seriously, it does not get much easier than that!

TIP #5:  Take Advantage Of The Juice Bar

Most gyms nowadays have some type of juice bar, or place where you can sit down and drink a protein shake or smoothy.  Take advantage of this when you’re trying to meet women at the gym!

There are two ways you can utilize a juice bar…

The first is to invite women you meet while working out to join you for a drink.  This is a great way to do an “instant date” after meeting a girl.  Instead of letting the girl just leave after she’s done working out, ask her if she’d be interested in grabbing a drink with you at the smoothy bar.

Then, sit down and chit-chat with her.  It’s just like getting coffee together, but much quicker and easier.

The second way to use the juice bar area is to actually see if there are any women you’d like to meet there already, and ask to join them while you drink your beverage.  Most women won’t refuse you, and you can start chit-chatting with them after you sit down.

Ultimately, there are lots of great ways to meet women during your workout.  Just keep trying different methods until you find one that works for you.

How To Meet Women After College

When you’re in college, meeting women can be easy.  After all, every class you go to, you’ll find yourself sitting next to one!  You’ll run into them at the library, a frat party, a football game, the dining halls…

The list goes on and on.

The fact of that matter is that school is very conducive to meeting women.  And that makes the process of getting dates much easier than it normally would be.

But what happens when you get out of college and enter *gulp* the real world?

While in school, you have a number of activities, sports, clubs, study sessions, and all types of other social gatherings to help you meet girls, once you’re out of school, your life will typically consist of two things:

Work and home.

You wake up, you go to your job, and then you go home, eat, go to bed, and repeat everything the next day.

The transition to entering the rat race after college is done can be depressing for a lot of men, because their lives become entirely centered around their jobs.

This means that the pool of women they have to choose from is limited to thewomen they meet at their jobs, or the women who live close to them.

And whenever your options are limited, that’s NEVER a good thing.

The key to meeting lots of great, high quality women after graduating from college is to keep being as social as possible, and don’t let your life be consumed by your job.

Here are some tips to help you meet women after college:

TIP #1:  Use The Internet

This should seem like a no-brainer.  Online dating is great for men who are too busy to go out and meet new girls.  So you should always be using the internet to meet new women.  This is probably the fastest and easiest way to meet girls.

TIP #2:  Get Out Of The House

Afte a long day of work, sometimes the last thing we want to do is go out at night.  But if you don’t go out, how do you expect to meet anybody?

Set aside one or two days a week where you go out with the specific intention to meet women.  Whether it be going to a bar to pick up a girl, or going out on a date, it’s important you make time for your love life.

TIP #3:  Take Advantage Of Errands

No matter how hard we work, we still have to do things throughout the course of our daily lives.  Whether it be going grocery shopping, or taking your suit to the dry cleaners, there’s always something we have to do for ourselves.

When this occurs, don’t just rush to get your errands done.  Take advantage of opportunities when you see them!  After all, lots of girls have to go grocery shopping and drop off clothes for dry cleaning as well.  So if you see a girl you find attractive while running errands, take some time and meet her!

TIP #4:  Happy Hour

The hour before work starts and around the time work typically ends is a great time to meet girls – if you’re in the right place!  In the morning, it’s coffee shops women go to for their morning cup of java.  After work, it’s the bar with the cheap drinks.

Go to these places at the right time, and you’ll find tons of women just hanging out, waiting to grab a drink before heading home.  Use this time to your advantage!  Women L-O-V-E to be social in both these places.

TIP #5:  Throw Parties

In college, a great way to meet girls is to throw a party and invite them over.  Well, that doesn’t change after you’re out of school.  Throwing parties is a great way to meet new people!

Organize a get together somewhere, make sure there’s plenty to eat and drink, and invite everyone you know to show up.  And have them invite everyone THEY know as well!

Being the “Party Guy” can really score you a lot of points with girls who are looking to have a bit of excitement in their lives.  And it can be a lot of fun too!

Tip #6:  Pursue Your Passions

Don’t let work rule your life.  Continue to pursue your passions.  If you like college basketball, continue to go out to games.  If you like live music, continue to go to concerts.  Whatever it is you enjoy, go out and do it, and while you’re doing it, meet as many women as you possibly can.

After all, chances are there are some girls who share your passions!  And what better way to start a conversation than to talk about something you both love?

The worst thing you can do is just spend all your time working and watching TV.  That won’t get you anywhere.  Just take action, get out of the house, and know how to start conversations with women.

When you’re able to do all that successfully, meeting girls out in the “real world” is both fun and easy.

Decoding The Secret Language Of Women…

Have you ever noticed that women will often-times say one thing, but mean another?

I’m sure most of you guys have experienced this before.

For instance, sometimes a girl will say “I only like to date guys who are taller than me.”

And then, the next guy you see her out on a date with is about a foot shorter than she is.

Sometimes a woman will say she prefers to be taken out to dinner and a movie.

And then, she tells you the best date she ever had was when a guy took her on a walk on the beach.

Sometimes the woman says she’s looking for a guy with a nice, steady job who can provide for her.

And then, she’s seen galavanting around with some dirt-poor schmoe who doesn’t have a penny to his name.

No matter how you look at it, lots and lots of women say they respond to one thing, when in reality, they ACTUALLY respond to something else.

I call this strange phenomenon “Girl Speak.”

A big problem guys have is they don’t know how to properly translate “Girl Speak,” so they end up taking what the girl says literally.

But this is a huge, HUGE mistake!

Women very rarely say what they actually mean.  And because of that, they respond really well to guys who know how to interpret what they are really saying.

Take me for instance…

I’m a fat, bald, ugly shlub.  Definitely no winner in the looks department.

But I’ve dated women who say they aren’t into “fat” guys.  In fact, they actually prefer guys who “take care of themselves” and “go to the gym.”

Yet they still agree to date me!

I’ve dated girls who were way younger than me.  One of my more recent girlfriends was 20 years old.  I’m 30.  This girl wasn’t interested in dating an older guy, yet for me she made an exception.

I dated one girl who only liked black guys.  Me, I’m white as white can be.  Seriously.  They don’t get any whiter than good ol’ Joe.  But again, the girl made an exception.

If I had taken their “Girl Speak” literally, I’d have never gotten past the initial meet.

But I know the key to by-passing the most common “Girl Speak” objections.

You know the ones…

“I only like guys with great bodies.”
“A guy who wants to take me out needs to have a nice car.”
“I want a tall man.”
“I want a guy my own age.”
“I have a boyfriend.”
“I’m not looking for a serious relationship.”

Blah, blah, blah.

So how do I do it?  Well, its fairly simple actually…

Don’t try and change their minds… change their EMOTIONS.

When a girl tells you about a specific thing she finds attractive, you got to understand that’s not a LOGICAL attraction trigger she’s sharing with you.

No, sir.

When a girl tells you something like “I like to date tall guys,” she’s not telling you she’s attracted to guys who are tall.

She’s telling you she’s attracted to the way tall guys make her FEEL.

Normally, if you ask a girl why she likes tall guys, she will share with you that maybe she “feels safer” with tall men.

So in that case, she’s looking to feel secure with the guy she’s dating.

Guess what?  You don’t have to be tall to make a woman FEEL secure!  you just need to know how to trigger that emotion inside her.

So let’s say you want to get a woman attracted to you – no matter what you look like.

Do you know how to make a woman feel that kind of attraction?

The key is making her feel FUN when she’s around you.  If you can make a woman feel fun, chances are she’ll feel attracted.

Why?

Because attraction is all about feeling good!  And if you can create some good old fashioned sexual tension in there – guess what?

She’s going to be SEXUALLY attracted to you!

My new course, Pure Personality, is all about how to make a woman feel attracted to you – no matter how shy you are or what you look like.

If you’ve ever been frustrated by “Girl Speak,” you simply need to check it out…

Click Here To Check Out Pure Personality

And if you want to learn how to create sexual tension with any girl, and never get rejected, you owe it to yourself to take a look at my book, The Art Of Approaching.

You can check that out here:

Click Here For The Art Of Approaching

Or, just continue to be fooled by “Girl Speak” and never get attraction from the women you want.

The choice is yours.

Talk soon,

Joseph Matthews

Meeting Older Women

Let’s face it, some things just get better with age.  Things like fine wine, Cuban cigars, and yes, even women!

Meeting a woman who’s older than you can actually be quite a good way to meet a fantastic partner.  Usually, older women are much more experienced, not only in relationships, but also in the bedroom.

So meeting older women can actually teach you a ting or two – not only about relationships, but also about what you’re really looking for in a partner.

So the real question is:

Are you interested in dating a woman who’s older than you are?

Do you find older women more attractive than their younger counterparts?

Well, my friend, you are not alone!

Older women are much more “mature” and experienced in the ways of love. They’ve usually had a lot of practice dealing with men, and know their way around the bedroom.

They can also be MUCH easier to deal with than younger women, who can tend to be a little “high maintenance.”

If you’re a man in your mid-to-late 20s who’s mostly been with women in their late teens and early 20s, dating a woman in her 40s can be a real treat for you!

They tend to be more mature and less selfish – sexually, and in just about every other way – than the women you’re used to dating. And if you’re not looking for anything serious, the chances are higher that they’re not either, if they’re just past child-bearing age.

In that way, they’re kind of like a lot of women in their mid-20s and younger, who don’t feel compelled to start a family in the way that single women who’ve hit 28 or 29 do. By the time a single woman reaches that age range, she’s more likely to feel that now’s the time to act if she’s ever going to have children.

That’s because she’s not getting any younger, and she feels less attractive than she was when she was in her early 20s. In her mind, it’s only going to get harder to find a great man she can settle down with.

(By the way, a lot of women at this stage make a mistake that a lot of men make their entire lives: they get desperate. Some women actually repel men because of their desire to get into a serious relationship sooner than the man is comfortable with. And a lot of women at this stage will settle for a man who they’re not compatible with, but who will end up fulfilling their need to have a family.)

So how can you start meeting older women?

You’re not so likely to find them at trendy nightclubs, but you can find them just about everywhere else you can find attractive women: while you’re out shopping, at coffee houses, local bars, or in bookstores. You can also meet them through school, volunteer activities or through friends.

But bar none, the BEST place to meet older women is online dating sites.

Sites like Match.com and E-Harmony have a bevy of older women just looking for some guy to come along and sweep them off their feet.

Some of them have kids, most of them are divorced, but one thing they all have in common is that they’re probably looking to have a good time!

Also, more and more over 30 women are heading towards social networking sites like MySpace as a way to meet new people. Just by doing a quick search for your target age range in your local area on MySpace will yield a number of potential older women you can meet.

But there are problems with dating older women. You may not be as mature as she is, which can be a problem for both of you. And the age difference can become rather awkward should you decide to get married: If there’s a 15-year age difference between you, then she’ll be 50 when you’re 35!

But that’s not to say that you shouldn’t meet and date an older woman. It can be a great experience for you, if you’re aware of the potential issues that can arise in the relationship.

Honestly, the art of meeting and dating older women could fill a book, and unfortunately, I just don’t have the time to go as much into detail with this as I would like.

So if you’re interested in learning more about how to meet and date older women (or just women in general), then I would highly recommend you sign up for my free How To Meet Women crash course.

No where else on the internet will you find such a detailed and comprehensive resource – for free, no less – on how to meet and date the women of your dreams.

I will show you all the secrets you need to know on how to overcome your anxiety of approaching women, and how to not get rejected – EVER – so you can actually have FUN meeting and dating women instead of feeling like its a chore.

Just click this link to sign up for it now:

Click Here For Your Free How To Meet Women Crash Course!

It just takes a few seconds to sign up, and you’ll get instant access to it once you do.

But hurry, I don’t know how much longer I’ll be making this resource available for free.

Wishing you success,

Joseph Matthews
Author of The Art Of Approaching Women

Picking Up Women

If your goal is to be picking up women, then don’t let all the movie and TV shows fool you.  You don’t have to be a “clown” or a “sleaseball” to effectively pick up a beautiful woman.  In fact, picking up women can actually be an easy and extremely fun task to undertake.  You just need to make a few simple preparations to prepare for success.

You can never really know when a pickup is going to go well, but there are ways you can prepare. So here’s some steps for success BEFORE you go out picking up women!

When you go to a place where you know there will be attractive women, make the decision that you’re actually going to pick them up!

Too often, guys will go out with no real goal in mind. And guess what? When you have no outcome in mind – you’ll usually end up with NOTHING.

But if you go out with a specific goal, your chances of achieving that goal go up DRAMATICALLY.

It doesn’t matter if it’s as simple as “Talk To One Woman Tonight,” or as ambitious as “Get Two Women To Come Home For A Threesome.”

As long as you have a goal, your chances of picking up a girl will increase substantially.

You don’t even have to be GOING OUT to pick up women. Maybe you’re visiting a food court in mid-afternoon because you’re feeling hungry, and you know you’ll spot at least one attractive woman there who you could see later.

You may or may not succeed in your quest, but you’re much more likely to have a positive outcome if you go with the mindset that you can pull off a successful pickup.

Always take a pen and paper, or at least your cell phone, wherever you go. You’ll need it for when you exchange numbers with women. Be sure to keep a condom with you, too, just in case! Knowing that you have protection on hand is just one more thing that will keep you from chickening out.

Remember: Do Not Give Yourself An Excuse NOT To Pick Up Women!

Picking up women is a mental exercise.  It’s about overcoming your fear, apprehension, and insecurities.  In short:  going up to a woman with the intent of picking her up is HARD.

So the more factors you have working against you, the easier it will be to justify NOT talking to the girl you want to.

This is a bad, bad, bad idea.  Because it’s always easier NOT to do something than it is to actually just DO IT!

That is why you must mentally prepare yourself for going through with the pick up.  Visualize the outcome you want.  Psych yourself up.  Push yourself to go through with it.

Know your environment. When you meet a girl you like, you’ll want to get together with her soon – preferably the same day, while her attraction for you is still high. Be aware of good places nearby where you can “bounce” to, like bars, coffee houses, lounges, art galleries, or other fun place where you and your “target” can have a change of scenery.

You’ll want to go to a place that’s low-key enough so you can get to know each other better. When you bounce from one location to another, it’s like you’re going on another date. Why wait for another week to pass by to take her on another date so you can build comfort with her, when you know you can do it on the same day?

Have a place in mind where you can become intimate with her. If you live nearby and you can bring her home, so much the better.

Have an excuse to take her home that has nothing to do with sex. You can have a DVD that she’s never seen but has to see, or an exotic drink she’s never tried, or some photos you’ve taken of a place where you’ve been that she’s never seen. Or you can play her a song that you’ve written. It doesn’t matter, as long as it makes her comfortable enough to come over!

Look – there is so much I have to share with you on the topic of picking up women, I could go on FOREVER.

If you’re the type of guy who’s ever struggled with picking up women, then you know how there will never be a lack of interest on this subject.

That is why I am offering my elite “How To Meet Women” Crash Course to you absolutely free.  All you have to do is visit my website to get free instant access to it right now.

In just seconds, you’ll get my first tip on how to pick up women, and they’ll keep on coming – a new one every day – until you finally get the girl you’ve always dreamed of.

So just visit my How To Meet Women website and sign up for my special crash course today!  The longer you wait, the longer it will take you to find the girl of your dreams.

Wishing you success,

Joseph Matthews
Author of The Art Of Approaching Women

When Its Time For The Second Date…

Okay so you’ve gotten the first date, what do you do when it’s time for the second?

For instance, I recently got this letter from a student named Alex…

Dear Joseph,

Thanks so much for all these great tips.  I’ve been putting some of the basics to work for me such as the 3 second rule and always smiling and at least saying hi to every woman to build confidence, but I still get nervous enough to forget most of the material when I’m actually talking to a woman one on one.  Having a terrible memory normally isn’t helping either.  Ok, thats the bad stuff, now on to the good stuff:

Happily, I’ve just gone on my first ‘get together for coffee’ with a woman since I started reading your ebooks and newsletters.  I met her on a datng site, I have an easier time with material when I have time to think than when I need to constantly improvize quickly.

I completely blanked out on almost everything I was planning to say to her in person when I met her face to face.  I was able to remember some of the smaller things I’ve learned, like improving my appearance and dressing to impress, keeping my smile slight but present, direct eye contact, and monitoring our body language as well as mirroring her.

Even though I blanked I still felt comfortable enough to not give off any nervous vibes (at least I’m pretty sure), and I remembered to keep the conversation flowing smoothly.  I probed for values and tried to keep her talking about things she enjoyed, I remembered to do a little ‘chest thumping’ of my own to demonstrate my own value, and spent the rest of our hour and a half long coffee/non-date working on comfort.

I noticed something bad however, due to the coffee table between us, I wasn’t able to do any kino aside from the initial and parting handshake.  The good news is I do have her real phone number (talked to her on it already) AND she’s willing to do it again soon, next time closer to her house. (She lives a decent drive from me.)

So now I’m of to go study material for the second date.  Do you have any ideas or suggestions you could give me based on this so far?

-Alex

Hi Alex,

First off:  Congrats on having such a quick success!  Lots of guys like to measure success based on how many women they can sleep with, but I think when starting out, it’s just as important to measure success in terms of POSITIVE interactions.

Let me confess to you:  I HATE to memorize stuff!  Routines and Patterns are not for me.  I have like 4-5 good openers I’ve memorized completely, but other than that, I just like to “wing it” when dealing with the ladies.

Because of this, I know exactly where you’re coming from.

Let me share something with you that I do:  If I’m nervous, or whatever, when I’m on a date, i will actually call attention to what I’m feeling.

I might say something like “Can I just tell you, I’m super-nervous right now?”

The girl will almost always say “Why?”

And I’ll honestly respond with something like “Because I think you’re really great, and I like you a lot, and I’m worried I might fart or something and blow it!”

Being honest with women, especially about your feelings, is ALWAYS a good tactic.  Trying to hide that you’re nervous of scared gives off an odd energy.  It’s almost like you’re trying to hide something.  When I started being honest with girls in this respect, I found that acknowledging the feelings in a way made them go away.

It’s also a great way to get the girl to open up to you about her feelings, because an admission like that is usually reciprocated.

So if you ever blank like you did again, say something like “You know, I had all these great things to say to you in order to sweep you off your feet, but I just totally forgot about every one of them.  It sucks, because I spent 2 hours of my life trying to memorize stories to tell you that I will never get back!”

Anyway, you asked about the second date…

The first date is always a nice “get to know you” deal, especially if you’ve met the woman online.  it gives you a chance to see if this is someone you want to meet with again.

If you’ve read my book, you’ll know I like the “minidate” method.

So for Date #2, you’re going to want to meet up to do something fun or interesting.  You can meet for dinner if you want, but I usually like to do something like “let’s go to an arcade!” or something wierd.  But meeting for a meal can be fine too.

Anyway, the goal of Date #2 is to minidate her into feeling like you’ve gone on 4-5 dates.  So dinner, arcade, bookstore, movie, etc.  It doesn’t matter where you go or what you do, as long as you do a couple different things.

I’ve even gone so far as to go with my date underwear shopping!  (Not for me, for her, lol.)  Those are always interesting.  But it usually leads to some fun times. 

But more than anything else…

HAVE FUN!

It doesn’t matter what you do one date #2 as long as you and her are having fun together!

Some guys take dates so serious, they forget that the point is to have a good time with the girl.  So they get all serious because they feel the pressure to sleep with the girl.

So a good rule of thumb:  Do something fun on date #2!

That’s never steered me wrong.

Do Women Like To “Use” Men?

A guy named Spyro sent me a very interesting letter about women who string guys along.

Hey Joseph,

I just read your last email, and its pretty clear that most people have the wrong beliefs.

Fact is that I’ve thought about it hard and long and I’ve realised that it is beliefs that are getting in my way.  Beliefs that make me doubt myself constantly and prevent me from action, even at times when I’ve had a woman at the point where I should be going to the next step, that I have kept saying to myself “I need to gain more value” then I’d try too hard and no need to explain what happens when guys do that.

I think that belief has been instilled through media and through some
girls that I’ve been around in my high school years, where basically they say that you have to prove yourself to be THE BEST man in the universe for you to even have a chance for them… pretty shitty thing to have psychologically beaten into me, and I see it every day.

The other one that spawns from that one, in a way, is that women like to have a fan club.  They come across a guy they think will improve her social status, then lure him in with false promises, and he becomes whipped (this nearly happened to me around the end of last year). The one thing that bothered me about this is when I realised what was happening I stopped contacting her completely, no explaination, nothing… I haven’t heard from her since… I believe I built up a degree of value with her.  Maybe I lost all of it at one point or, maybe she has enough of these fan club guys that she doesn’t miss one.

Honestly, this does cause some bitterness, because she is extremely good looking, and I know that she is a good person, she just doesn’t have a clue when it comes to her love life.  Its like she meets a guy starts being attracted to him, but when she makes him apart of her fan club… that squashes all the attraction!

Lastly, In all my life I’ve only had mild sucess with women, never had a normal conversation lead to sex. I’d always screw up at some point and ended up frustrated. So now whenever I see that hottie that makes me swallow hard, I quickly find myself thinking, “not worth it, all that effort only to end up frustrated.” Then I don’t approach, and every other guy that does approach walks away with nothing, which just reinforces my belief :/

I’m sitting here by your website fighting with myself whether or not to buy your book, because I know that even if your book came in pill form, it would pretty much be useless unless I had the right beliefs in place.

But anyway, the biggest things that I need to sort out are 1) the right beliefs and 2) how to stay that “other guy”, the one that refuses to join her fan club, and that she HAS to chase.

Any thoughts and opinions would be much appreciated!

Spyro

Hi there Spyro,

First off, I want to tell you that you are right – beliefs are the most important thing in the WORLD where it comes to success with women.

If you have bad beliefs, having success with girls can be VERY hard and frustrating.

That’s why I devote most of my Art Of Approaching course to teaching guys how to develop the proper beliefs, and change their old, ineffective, and sabotaging belief systems.

Like the old saying goes…

“Whether you believe you can, or you can’t, you’re right!”
Read more

How To Get A Girlfriend In College

So here’s an email I got from a poor college kid who’s having some trouble with the ladies…

Hi Mr. Matthews,

Thanks so much for your advice so far, I’ve tried a few of your techniques, some are great for ‘pulling’, but I’m in a weird situation at the moment. From the beginning: I’m a university student, 18 years old, 5′11, use the gym alot and am told I’m fairly good looking by my female friends (hope that doesn’t sound big headed though), there is one problem however, that is I’ve never had a girlfriend and I am looking for a relationship.

Everyone says “Your at uni!  You’ll find someone easy!” Truth is I haven’t. I go clubbing, etc, and am average at dancing. Some of my female friends with boyfriends even said I’d be a good excuse to leave their boyfriends, but I think that’s because they know me well (plus I’m not only after ‘one thing’).

I’ve gotten close to a girl before, but a ‘mate’ came between us which resulted in her getting back with her ex.  Anyways the only thing I’m aware of doing wrong is going up to women and
talking.

Its just weird because I’ve always had low self esteem, especially
when I WAS overweight.  Also, most girls I like nearly all have boyfriends.

At uni, its hard to find anywhere to approach a girl and just get her to like me.  Whenever I’m with my uni mates I feel like the inferior one because they all have had a fair bit of experience with women. I’m this serious about giving up (which I hopefully won’t).  I’ll even send a photo of me just to proove I’m not some weirdo who has obvious reasons for struggling with women. I feel like I might have left out some details but don’t know what…

Thank you if you can help my crisis, I’m positive you can.

Wow – you’ve touched on a whole lotta things all at once here.

Where to begin…
Read more

Gunwitch Halloween Tips

The great and mighty GUNWITCH writes in with some helpful Haloween tips…

Some tips from my site for halloween.

Wear a COOL costume. Something that says “sex” in her mind. Zorro, a vampire without the dime store rat teeth, a rockstar, a human looking devil even.

DON”T be a zombie, or a urinal, or a siamese twin with a blow up doll taped to your head!

Vice versa, talk to more women who are “with it” enough to be wearing a sexual outfit as well. Witches, hookers (hey shannon), vampiress’, Elviras (hey sherry), female devils (hey erica) etc etc etc. If she turns you on, approach and smile and make good eye contact!

Be HIGH ENERGY. Don’t be like all the other weird people who are kind of in thier costume “character”, be really outgoing, yell “HEY cool costume!” at chicks. Network the whole place and let your vibe when you get interest do the seducing, not the words. Remember its a fun night and the only night many of these chicks are out, so you don’t wanna bore anyone. Dance, mover her around the place, play paper rock scissors, you get the idea, be FUN more than usual.

CLOSE CLOSE CLOSE. Let the cat out of the bag early and often, as soon as you get any sexual vibe, offer to get alone with her back at your place or hers. Chicks are WAY out of character on Halloween, even the most uptight ones, PLUS they are in disguise full blown. This means almost no resistance to sex or “feeling like a slut”.

HAVE YOUR BASE GAME DOWN!

Check out my website, and buy the course at the discount price through halloween of 19.95, and give it a read or a listen through, and work the materials. Remember just because it’s a loose holiday, is no excuse to run poor game, never forget your foundations…

Take advantage of the special 19.95 price through halloween, you will find no better deal on a full audio course from a top guru than right here right now with this special.

Special price and audio tutorial@
www.dynamicsexlife.com

Gunny even decorated his site for Halloween!  How cool.  =)

Pleasure and Sex

The Dating Wizard (Yes! He’s an actual Wizard! Harry Potter style, yo!) sent me a rather good article about pleasure, sex, sexual pleasure, yadda, yadda, yadda…

Anyway here’s the article. Read it and be amazed… Read more

Do You Think Girls Don’t Find You Attractive?

There are lots of reasons guys get frustrated with the process of dating women.

Not the least of which is the idea that there is something about them that is unattractive to the opposite sex.

Look, we all have things about us that we don’t like.

(After all, we know ourselves better than anyone else.)

But here’s the thing…

IF YOU LET YOUR LOOKS DETERMINE YOUR HAPPINESS, YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY!

There is no such thing as “Perfection.”

You will always be either too fat, or too skinny, or too bald, or your ears stick out a little bit too much…

There will ALWAYS be something about yourself that you don’t like!

But the simple fact of the matter is this – just because YOU don’t like it, doesn’t mean others won’t.

You never know what physical attributes women will find attractive. So why try to obsess over what you THINK they won’t like?

I used to think that just because I’m overweight, that meant girls wouldn’t like me.

But I’ve seen TONS of overweight guys who had smoking hot girlfriends!

And I used to think that, if they could get a girl being fatter than me, then I could most certainly get a girl too!

You know what? I WAS RIGHT!!!

For every shortcoming you think you have, take a look around. Chances are, there’s some guy out there with the same shortcoming who’s succeeded with it.

Let me share a secret with you… Read more

Women Advice From Billy Bob Thornton…

How would you like to get women advice from the guy who married Angelina Jolie?

No, I’m not talking about Brad Pitt, I’m talking about the older, uglier dude who landed her before Golden Boy got his sloppy seconds.

I’m talking about Billy Bob Thornton.

In a recent issue of FHM (the one with naked Janet Jackson on the cover), there’s a short article about Billy Bob’s upcoming movie, School For Scoundrels.

In it, Billy Bob teaches a bunch of hopeless geeks how to be more confident and meet women…

(Kind of like what I do, but I don’t think my customers are geeks. =)

In the very short interview with Billy Bob, I found this excerpt most interesting:

From FHM Magazine:
Q: In School For Scoundrels, you teach a class of nerds how to pull chicks. What do you wish you knew before starting out with the ladies?

BBT: That you shouldn’t get married if the girl asks you. That’s happened to me a few times. With women, you have to be confident, but not cocky. They like confidence with a certain vulnerability.

Now, I agree with Billy Bob on this one.

Sure, saying “You gotta be confident” isn’t a big revelation to you, I’m certain, but hear me out…

Billy Bob makes a very good distinction here, which is confidence with cockiness, and confidence with vulnerability.

Now, what do you think he means by that?

(Don’t worry, I’m about to tell you…)

Here’s my distinction:

Cockiness is about disregarding anyone’s thoughts or emotions but your own. When you’re cocky, the only reality that matters is that which exists in your own mind.

Now, there IS something to be said for being cocky. A little bit of cockiness can be attractive in a man.

BUT…

Being vulnerable is about being emotionally available.

And as we all know: Emotions are like COCAINE to chicks! They can’t get enough of them!

Displaying a bit of vulnerability allows you to establish emotional connections with women.

THIS is what gets them “into” you.

Seriously, once a woman has established a deep emotional connection with you, you’d have to admit you’re a baby-killer to get her NOT to sleep with you!

THAT’S how powerful this stuff is!

And that’s how Billy Bob landed ol’ Angelina in the first place.

So what does this mean to you?

Well, in my course The Art Of Approaching, I cover two things that no one else out there even seems to touch on:

1. How to build and establish your confidence.

2. How to create strong, lasting emotional connections with women.

Billy Bob does it naturally. I had to learn it the hard way.

BUT, it is learnable! If I can do it, then you DEFINITELY can.

Click here now to check it out!

And pretty soon, I’m sure you’ll be able to get girls that put Angelina to SHAME!

(Seriously, I used these techniques to start seeing a model! I’m a fat, hairy, bald dude, but this model is seriously into me. If it works for ugly dudes like Billy Bob and me, it’ll work for you too!)

Talk soon,

Joseph Matthews