Are All Men A little Gay?

Some guy who writes a blog called (gayly enough) Sticky Butter write a diatribe about how he believes all men are a *little* gay.

I would like to start off by saying the opinions expressed in this post are not the opinions of all men. Probably not the opinions of all women either. It is however, the bold opinion of the man writing this post, me. Now why in hell would I be thinking such…I’ll say nonsense for arguement sake, in the first place. The answer…I really don’t have one. Not one that would make reasonable sense. It may be a cummulation of observations that I have stored away for such a moment as this one. Or it could be solely because of the middle aged gentleman I caught taking a peak at the hardware before I hit the shower after a long workout. Whatever the reason, who’s to say I am completely off base here. Is what I am going to say controversial? Maybe. Uninformed? Maybe. Truthful? Maybe. It could be all three and more for all I know. But what I do know is that it is an interesting idea.

Take for instance, the simple act of peeing in a public urinal. Gentlemen, you know the usual scene. Man walks in and pisses in the short urinal instead of the big boy one that is right next to you. Why? For what reason? To more efficiently fight the urge to look at your junk out of the corner of his eye to see what your holding? Chances are he will do it anyway because men are wired in a way that makes us very competitive. And the size of your “member” seems to be a big determinant of your manhood. Personally, I find it pretty easy to look down and away or straight ahead at the wall, but I to have fell to the temptation to sneak a peak just like the rest of you. Does it make you gay? Well…no. A little gay? Yeah maybe.

Not yet convinced that all of us may have a little gay in us? (Pun not intended) Think on this thought. You are going to have to swallow (again, not intended) your pride and ego on this one. Somewhere during your life time you have wondered what it would be like to kiss another guy. You don’t have to admit it out loud if you don’t want to. But dammit if it ain’t true. Now the thought alone does not make you gay or bi-sexual unless you act on it, or in a movie where your getting boo-coo dollars to do it (Brokeback Mountain). But does it make you a little gay? Yeah maybe.

Still unconvinced? How about the infamous prank known to all men as Tea-bagging. What is not gay about dropping your nuts on another man’s chin? Should I mention Brown-nosing? Not only is that gay, its raunchy gay. Now we’ve all done them. And are they a little gay? Yeah maybe. [Sidebar: Guys also think that fucking a guy in the ass is not gay because you are not receiving it, or receiving a blow job from another guy is not gay because you are not performing that act. Just to clear all that up. No matter how you try to reason them out, both are very gay. You are gay. Deal with it.]

If you are still not convinced, you are probably a narrow-minded homophobic douchbag. But here I go. One more reason why you are probably a little gay. Porno. We all watch it, we all love it. Nothing is better to watch than some chick getting face fucked, ass raped, gangbanged, or pussy plowed over and over again. Unless of course it’s you doing all those things. [Disclaimer: Actually face fucking, ass raping, gangbanging and pussy plowing another human being without proper consent is wrong and I do not personally condon those actions] Now here’s the gay factor. Do you want to watch some dude with a pencil thin dick doing all those things you dream you could do just once? No fucking way! You want the guy strapped with a Colt .45 handling that business. Is that a little gay? Yeah maybe.

So there you have it. A few reasons why, if you think about it, you may just be a little gay.

The author of this post is not gay. He has never had a gay encounter. He is fiance’d to a beautiful woman whom he loves dearly. But does this post make him a little gay? Yeah maybe.

Not that there’s anywthing WRONG with that… =)
On a side note – I have never, nor have I ever met anyone – who has “teabaged” another guy. Nor have I ever heard of “brown nosing” another dude in the context this guy is using it. But I think it’s pretty obvious that if you do ANYTHING with your junk or ass that has to do with another guy, that’s pretty darn gay.

I think this blog post was inspired by that scene from the 40 Year Old Virgin where the guys are spouting out reasons why each other is gay. Like “Know how I know you’re gay? I once saw you bake a loaf of bread with cheese in it.” That’s what this sounds like. “Want to know how I know you’re gay? Because I once saw you dip your balls on another man’s chin.”

Personally, I think some of this guy’s logic is flawed.  Like the porno stuff.  So you see another guy’s dick… big deal.  Is looking at a dick while you’re focusing on the woman gay?  Not in my book.  And what if the only porno you watch is lesbian?  Is that still gay since there are no dicks around?  Maybe I’m just a homophobic douchbag, but I think intention has a lot to do with truly being “homosexual.”  But if you’re using “gay” as an adjective to describe situations and things, then yeah, I guess we’ve all been accidentally gay before.

(Not that there’s anything wrong with that! =)