How To Meet Women

Okay, fellow womanizers - it’s that time of year again!

That’s right. It’s time to list the Top 10 PUAs of the year! As you know, it’s become something of a tradition of mine to go out and meet as many pick-up artists as I can, and then rank them based on how I percieve their skills to be.

Of course, because I’m the judge, you won’t see me on the list ever. But you will see an honest appraisal of many of the guys out there. Remember: just because someone SAYS they’re a pick up artist, doesn’t really mean they are one. After all, the community has had it’s fair share of frauds in the past. (Need I remind anyone of the “guru” who created an audio series based on his ability to bang hookers in Tijuana? Didn’t think so.)

I’m sure this years picks are sure to stir up some controversy! So let me know what you think by leaving your comments where appropriate.

And without further ado, let’s get to the countdown… (more…)

Hey now!

For those of you not on my newsletter email list (and why aren’t you?  It’s only the BEST dating/seduction newsletter around damn it!  Subscribe by putting your name and email in the opt in box on this site.  It’s FREE!), you’ll be interested to know that I’ve just released a BOMBSHELL that’s sure to ruffle some feathers in the seduction community.

For the better part of 2006, I have secretly been working on a dramatic new system of dating and seduction which flies in the face of pretty much everything the community teaches!

And I’m giving it away FOR FREE.

All you have to do is go to this page and download the free report.

In it, I detail my new method of seduction for everyone to see, and I’m sure you’ll find it as enlightening as you will controvercial.

But I ask that you resist the urge to keep it to yourself and help me spread the word about it!  Tell a friend you know could use it.  It’s free, and cost you nothing but the time it takes to download it.  Seriously, I can’t believe I’m just giving it away, but I think of it as my “Christmas Present” to men at large this year.  =)

Again, you can find the special report here:

Click Here To Download My Secret Project Right Now!

And let me know what you think of it by commenting in this thread!

Okay, so for those of you well aware of Double Your Dating and it’s evervescent guru David DeAngelo, you know that he has his wildly successful Interviews With Dating Gurus series, which you can subscribe to when you buy his ebook.

Well, I’m happy to say that I have now joined the ranks of such Dating Gurus this month.  My interview with David D. has been shipped and should be arriving to subscribers as we speak.

Here’s the letter the Double D sent out to his list announcing my interview… (more…)

I’ve been getting emails about this, so I figured I’d write a quick post about it…

Every year, I release a top 10 ranking of the best pick up artists out there, and on December 30th, I’ll be releasing the list of the Top 10 PUAs of 2006!

And this year it’s sure to be a controversial one!  So don’t miss it.

Spread the word…

Okay, so when I heard there were pictures out there of Brittany Spears showing off her junk, I gotta admit… I was curious.

I mean, who wouldn’t be, right?  After all, she is a music superstar with a “goody two shoes” image.  The whole “good girl gone bad” thing can be pretty hot.  Plus I wanted to know if having 2 kids had changed things for her.  Actually, i was more curious as to if K-Fed changed things for her.  But judging from these pictures, I can’t really tell:

Brittany Spears With No Underwear.

So now we’ve seen Brittany and Paris in all their Glory.  If we can get images of Lindsey Lohan, we’d have the holy trinity of celebrity nudity here!

Art Of The Pickup is the first offering from those crazy kooks over at fastseduction.com.  It’s a 2 DVD video set with over six hours worth of information culled from fastseduction.com’s vast repository of pick-up knowledge, all compiled into an easy to reference format.

The thing that makes the Art Of The Pickup stand out from other similar DVD sets is that it’s designed more like an interactive course on how to meet women than a simple recorded lecture, like you might get with other DVD courses.

This format works very well in an instructional sense, because it breaks down the different phases of pickup in an easy to follow way, and allows for quick reference of the different tactics available. (more…)

I heard through the grapevine that things over at the Mystery Method headquarters are being shook up.

No one can deny that Mystery Method is the leading dating/seduction workshop company, with their frontman Mystery himself being the main attraction.  (Hey, it is his method after all, ain’t it?)
But there’s a rumor circulating around that Mystery is splitting with his longtime business manager Nick Savoy, the “brains” behind the business of the Mystery Method company.  Instead, I hear Mystery is thinking of teaming up with rising star PUA Mehow, to be managed by Mehow’s manager, a guy I know only as “Rob.”

Now, from what I understand, Savoy is intregral to the growth of Mystery Method of the last few years, so I can’t really understand Mystery’s logic behind splitting with him.  He’s done a bang-up job, especially when working with such a prickly personality as Mystery (I love the guy to death, but try working with him sometime.  It can be a real test in patience!).

I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Mehow, but I have met his fast-talking manager Rob once or twice before.  I got the impression that he’s trying to be “Nick Cho Reborn,” in the sense that he wants to represent all the major Seduction Gurus in the field and bring them under one banner.

However, that certainly didn’t work out for Nick “Papa” Cho, and it probably won’t work out for Rob either.  Back when Papa represented Mystery, he tried to fold Mystery into the “Real Social Dynamics” banner and put him on a level playing field with people like Tyler Durden and other RSD Instructors.

That, of course, didn’t fly with Mystery.

Mystery likes being in the spotlight, and it’s in his blood that he must be the star of the show.  Like the movie Highlander, when it comes to Mystery and guru-dom,  There Can Be Only One.  Once Mystery saw Papa intended for him and Tyler to share the spotlight, he bolted (and rightly so).  I imagine the same thing is going to happen once he gets into this Mehow business, since Mehow is being touted as the “next Tyler Durden.”  (C’mon, do we really need another Tyler Durden?)

Not to mention the fact that should Mystery split with Savoy, there’s probably a number of legal hassles to deal with.  Mystery Method Inc. is a seperate entity from Mystery himself, so if the split actually occurs, Mystery Method Inc. could conceivably continue on WITHOUT Mystery, which means all his products and workshops and the like would continue to be sold without the man himself being involved.

Can Mystery Method survive without Mystery?  Can Mystery become as successful with Mehow in his corner, or will he self-destruct?  And what exactly does this power play by Mehow and Rob mean to the community at large?

Well, personally, my spider sense is telling me this could be a big ol’ mess.

Someone from the eHarmony blog picked up on my review about the dating website.  Check it…

eHarmony Blog Writes:
What shall I say to this? This reviewer believes that eHarmony is not for “charming dudes” at all!

(Snip…)

He’s in the wrong website.

If by “wrong website,” the blogger means “Website where it’s really, really hard to meet a good girl,” then he/she’s probably right.

I don’t believe the site is for “charming dudes.”  I believe the site is not for ANY dudes.  At all.  Most men (ie:  Those who aren’t male models who are looking to hook up with a hot chick) would have better luck on other dating sites.  eHarmony has a HUGE repository of unattractive women, and their clunky communication process makes it very hard to interest any girls you might find interesting on there.

If eHarmoney was a free site, it would be one thing.  But it isn’t!  It’s a pay site.  So you’re spending hard earned money to meet butt-ugly women (for the most part).  I’m not saying eHarmoney won’t work for guys.  I’m sure there is some measure of success there.  However, being quite an average looking guy myself, I can go on 4-5 dates with women from Match.com and Yahoo Personals in the time it takes for me to be ALLOWED to email 1 chick from eHarmony.

Dating’s a number’s game, and eHarmony is rigged to favor the women.  So the blogger above is right, the site is DEFINITELY not for me.

Okay, so the holidays are coming up, and you gotta get your girl something nice.

But what?

It seems like every year it gets harder and harder to come up with something good to gift your lady with — especially if you’re on a budget.

Well, don’t worry.  Ol’ Joey Matt here has some ideas that are sure to work well for the holidays.

Gift Idea #1 — A Victoria’s Secret Gift Certificate

Please note:  This is not meant to be a gift in and of itself! This is supposed to SUPPLEMENT your real gift to your woman.  A “stocking stuffer” if you will.  All women love Victoria’s Secret because all women love to buy underwear, so this will not be an unwelcome gift.  $50 is sufficient, but $200 is better if you can afford it.  A girl can get a lot of great stuff at Victoria’s Secret for $200.

Gift Idea #2 — A Spa Trip

There’s an increasing trend in day spas where they offer a “couples spa,” where you and your girl can visit together and get massages and things.  Some spas that specialize in couples even offer some romantic acoutrements, such as champaign and candles and the like.  This can be a great romantic getaway for a day for the two of you.  Most of these packages can be had for less that $200, though some can get expensive the more you tack onto them.  But there’s a great chance you and your girl will enjoy the experience, and I guarantee you no other guy in her life ever thought of this as a gift!

Gift Idea #3 — Bath And Body Giftset

Stores that specialize in “Bath and Body” products are becoming more popular in the US, so you’ll find more of them at the malls than you could a few years ago.  A good Bath And Body giftset can be quite affordable AND sensual at the same time.  A good collection of bubble bath, body scrubs, scented candles, bath salts, etc. can be a nice and relaxing/erotic gift.  Have you ever told your girl you wanted to bathe her?  You can even make a special night of it!  It’s quite romantic.  But in case you’re too manly for that, she can get a lot of use from the giftset on her own.

Gift Idea #4 — Purses

Women love their accessories, and they collect purses like a crackhead collects crack — they just can never get enough of them.  And every year, new purses come out that they just have to have!  So why not get them one?  Head to any store you can think of and ask a saleswoman to show you the latest and greatest purse.  If you can afford a desgner purse, even better!

Gift Idea #5 — Pajamas

Get her some fun and comfortable pajamas in her favorite color (or yours, what the hell!).  Pajamas can be damn sexy, especially if she takes to wearing them around the house.  You can find some nice, comfortable PJs nice and cheap at places like Target.  Some nice pajama bottoms and a shirt that’s maybe one size too small can really get the blood pumping in the bedroom.  It’s sexy without being “overtly sexy.”

Gift Idea #6 — Perfume

An oldie, but a goodie.  Again, like the Victoria’s Secret deal, this shouldn’t be a gift in and of itself, but a supplement if you get one.  Perfume can be an odd thing, because it’s entirely dependent on taste.  You can try tracking down her favorite perfume, or you can find one you enjoy and give it to her while letting her know the scent drives YOU crazy.

Gift Idea #7 — Jewelry

This is my least favorite gift idea because it’s so “played.”  Girls get jewelry all the time.  If you’re going to get a girl a piece of jewelry, make it something “special.”  By that, i mean get something cheap (or affordable) from ebay, and make up a meaningful story behind it.  The sentiment will be a better presant than the jewelry itself.  Something like “I found this necklace on the street when I was a boy, and I kept it to remind me that beauty was something to be cherished instead of lost, and I promised myself I would only give it to a girl I felt was more special than anyone else in my life.  I know it might not be much, but I wanted to give it to you because you mean more to me than anything else, and you constantly remind me of how much I should cherish you, because you’re so special to me.”  Or something like that.  I recently gave a nice diamond necklass to my girlfriend and used this tactic, and it worked so well she started to cry.  (That’s when you know you done good!)  So remember, if you’re going to go the jewelry route, have a speech prepared that will add meaning to it, rather than just have it be another accessory in her wardrobe.

Gift Idea #8 — The Self-Made Gift

Self made gifts are always a winer, because the sentiment is there, along with the affordability, so if you’re on a tight budget, this could be the way to go.  Self-made gifts are exactly what they sound like, gifts you make yourself!  This can be jewelry, music, artwork, a video, poem, story, whatever!  So long as it comes from you and means something to you, chances are she will like it.

I found the ultimate dating site for rich guys who don’t want to waste their time…

SeekingArrangement.com

This is just WAY too funny!  In a way, it’s kind of like a more honest Millionaire Match website.  Basically, you sign up as either a rich man or woman, or a man or woman looking for a sugar daddy/mommy.  In your profile, you state how much you’re willing to pay or accept for a beneficial “arrangement.”

It’s pretty much an escort site for old men and hot young women.  But I will say this — the girls on the site appear to be quite attractive!  Most of them seem to be based in New York or Canada, and they look to be either college students or models.  The prices range from “I want a jaguar!” to “Give me $2K a month and I’ll be happy.”  The girls list what they’re willing to do in exchange for their sugar daddy’s attention, but for the most part, you can guess they’re willing to whore themselves out for the green at the end of the day.

I haven’t signed up for this service (lord knows I don’t make nearly enough money to be anyone’s sugar daddy), but if there are any rich readers out there who want to give it a shot and report back to me on how it is, please feel free!  I think the service is free to sign up with.

At last — some honesty in online dating!  lol.

So a while back, I decided to try playing the online dating field yet again.  I’m not really a big fan of online dating because I feel there is a lot of signal to noise ratio (ie:  You meet a lot of chicks through it, but most of them aren’t worth your trouble), and I’ve always been more successful in meeting women in person, and THEN dating them.  This could be because I’m not a very good looking guy, and online dating is so dependent on pictures, whereas in-field meetings allow my personality to shine through.

(What can I say?  I’m a charming dude.  =)

So anyway, I was kind of tired of Match.com and Yahoo! Personals, and MySpace was a little bit too played out, so I decided to check out eHarmony.  The big hook (supposedly) for eHarmony was that you get matches tailored just for you, so that chances for success in dating were increased dramatically.

Now, anyone who’s done online dating knows that the worst part is setting up your profile and crap like that.  It’s annoying and time consuming!  But if you think that’s bad, try signing up for eHarmony!  Not only do you have to take a long personality test, but then you have to go into your profile and answer a bunch of pre-set questions which will appear to your matches.  There just seemed to be pages and pages of stuff you had to fill out.  I got bored easily, and it took me the better part of two weeks to finish the whole damn thing.

Another annoying factor about eHarmony is that you aren’t allowed to browse other people’s profiles, like you can on Match.com or Yahoo.  Instead, matches are assigned to you based on compatitbility.

Now, this may “sound” like a good thing, until you actually start checking out the matches and seeing that a good 98% are UGLY women.

And I’m not talking about “plain” or “somewhat cute” here.  I’m talking about UGLY.  As in fat, buck-toothed, mildly retarded looking women.  Don’t get me wrong, there are some decent ones in the bunch (and a handful of hotties) but for the most part the vast majority of girls on eHarmony were not only beaten with the ugly stick, they were RAPED with it.  (This all, of course, assumes eHarmony didn’t judge my personality to be partial to ugly women, but I digress…)

It would seem that eHarmony just tends to attract the homlier sort of women, due to it’s promise of “true love based on personality,” which is an Oprah Watcher’s dream.  So not being able to search through the database of subscribers and seeing what the site has to offer is a big drawback in my opinion, because you could easily get stuck with a bunch of “perfect matches” you have absolutley no interest in!

But as though that wasn’t bad enough, you’re not allowed to start communicating with your matches right away.  Instead you have to go through a series of steps to start communicating with them.

This involves sending them a series of pre-selected questions they have to answer.  Then they send you questions.  Then you send them your “Don’t likes and must haves.”  Then they send you yours.  Then you send them more generic pre-set questions.  And on and on it goes.

And if you get ALL the way through that, THEN you can start “open communication.”

I guess this is eHarmony’s way of easing you into talking with each other, and allowing you to screen the other person more effectively.  However, when it comes to online dating, the only things I really care about is:

1.  How the girl looks in her pictures
2.  How they interact with me on the phone.

Because let’s face it, until you actually TALK to the girl, you have no idea if you two are gonna click or not — no matter how many emails you exchange.

When I date online, I want to send the girl some fantastic emails FAST to demonstrate my personality, and get her on the phone quickly to lock her in and set up a date.  eHarmony makes that IMPOSSIBLE.  I actually had maybe 2-3 good looking girls in My Matches page, but I lost them all because of their clunky forced communication process, whereas had I been able to email them straight away, I might have had a chance.

Not only that, but eHarmony only allows a minimum match radius of 30 miles from where you live, so you’re getting matches from girls who are really freakin’ far away!  Living in LA, a five mile jaunt can take up to an hour to drive.  Can you imagine how long a 30 mile commute would be?  Definitely a problem there.

Over all, I’d say that eHarmony is one of the WORST dating sites for guys out there.  Personally, I think that company is kept afloat by a gaggle of desperate, ugly women who struck out on all the other dating sites out there.  If you’re looking to get some quality results with online dating, go for a site that gives you more freedom and better search quality, like Match or Yahoo.

And if you don’t want to pay for it, stick to MySpace.

A guy named James888 has posted on the mASF board about his fear of losing a girl if he makes his move…

James888 writes:
After a lot of introspection, I have come to the conclusion that I fear escalation because I might go too far and lose her. I think my internal subconscious logic goes like this:

1) I meet comparatively few women, and it is hard work getting them to day2.
2) If I proceed slowly yet surely, I’m more likely to end up with her in the end.
3) If I go too fast, I might drive her off.

Small, slow, escalations lead closer and closer to sex. Faster escalations could cause her to recoil and take me further from sex.

I need someone to logic me out of this. The only escalations I’m subconsiously allowing myself are tiny ones that are easily backed off from.

For instance, the ONE GIRL I’ve layed, when I first kissed her, I was really only leaning in to kiss her cheek when she turned and kissed me. Minor escalation: a kiss on the cheek can’t be denied.

The ONS I almost had, I pre-emptively freezed her out so hard she almost left. Pre-emptive freeze out: I don’t have to deal with her denying me.

In fact, the only girl I’ve been able to reasonably quickly escalate is a fat girl who I wasn’t real attracted to in the first place, and who I eventually did not fuck because I was so turned off. See my LR-. I literally kicked her out.

Can someone talk me out of this problem? I think it’s due to some invalid social conditioning, that I should feel like a pervert if I escalate too fast and cause her to stop me.

Why am I asking? Because:

- I have a day2 tomorrow evening with a girl I am really attracted to.
- I am leaving for a month next week.
- I really hope to fuck her before this happens.

Don’t worry, I am not in a needy frame, I have other fish in the sea…I am just being realistic.

First off, I would say this to anyone out there experiencing a similar problem:  DO NOT BE AFRAID TO LOSE A GIRL!

I know that’s easier said than done, and it’s hard to risk losing a girl you’ve come to like.  But be honest here — wouldn’t you rather lose a girl and move on to one you like and who likes you back, than waste your time with a girl who isn’t going to go any further with you?

What James888 is doing here is looking at his situation from a scarcity standpoint.  He said himself he doesn’t meet many girls, so the ones he does hang out with are very important to him.  This is a BAD frame to be in.  You need to come from a place of ABUNDANCE if you hope to get anywhere with women.  The whole “Take it or leave it” attitude is a powerful one that can save you from a lot of heartbreak in the end.

Seriously — James888 really needs to read The Art Of Approaching!  He’d have his problem solved in minutes!

But more than having an “abundancy mindset,” is the ability to escalate according to the situation.

Some girls are ready to move faster than others, but in James’ case, he’s moving at a SNAILS pace because he’s afraid to take it any farther than he is comfortable with.

Look–when it comes to escalating into physical stuff with women, it’s a question of what THEY are comfortable with, not what YOU are comfortable with.  A girl could be perfectly ready and willing to make out with you, while you are still feeling scared and uncomfortable.

You have to learn to recognize the SIGNS that the girl is attracted to you, and then you have to be willing to build on that, and continue to be aggressive in doing so.  When you do this right, you will NEVER lose your girl.  Girls are lost when you make a move they are not ready for, and they become defensive.  This happens ONLY when you ignore the signs she gives you and focus too much on your own feelings (trust me, it’s just as bad to not make a move when you should as it is to make a move when you shouldn’t!)

That’s why learning the attraction signals of a woman, and how to read her body language, is so important.

The mASF message board has been updated for the new millineum!  What was once a clunky Tread Based message board is now a more conventional forum.  Definitely an improvement on the original!  Check it out here.