The Initial Tension Of Sex

A student of mine sent in a question concerning difficulty “closing the deal.”

My problem is not so much HOW to meet women, or even what to say to them. My BIGGEST problem is feeling comfortable enough to close the deal and head to the bedroom, and even knowing when to do it.  It’s what I want obviously, but I get extremely nervous.  I’m not greatly experienced in the sack but I have been told I know what I’m doing, yet I still get worried that I’m not going to perform like I should.  I’m not sure how to handle this other than to just get out there and do it, but I am wondering if there is anything i can do to ease the initial tension of having sex with new people.  I would appreciate a response.  Your e-mails have been very helpful to me and I thank you for you help.

I feel ya, brutha.

When I was starting to get good at this, I had advanced my skills to the point where meeting, dating, and talking to women wasn’t a problem at all.  But I was STILL dropping the ball when it came time to make my move!

And the crappy thing about that is, if a girl wants you to make a move, and you don’t do it – no matter how many chances she gives you – she’s eventually going to think you’re not interested and move on.  And once that happens, it’s EXTREMELY hard to get a second chance with her.  And then there are times where the opportunity to make your move is there, and once it’s gone, she’s just lost interest.

That is why it is IMPERATIVE you take action when the time is right!

Being uncomfortable in the late game really has to do with inexperience.  If you’re worried about how you’re going to perform, how you’re going to make your move, whatever – you’re going to take yourself out of the game. And also, don’t forget the fact that at this stage of the game, you and the girl will be in deep rapport (if you’ve done your job right).  This means that if YOU get nervous/uncomfortable, then SHE will become nervous and uncomfortable too.  Never a good thing.

Here’s the thing… just relax, and instead of focusing on all the unknowns, imagine success instead.  Imagine you performing great, and having a fun time.  Focus on the good things about the experience, and keep your energy and attitude positive.

Learn to make your move and make out with her.  Once the petting starts, you’ll find the tension goes away.

So how do you know when to make your move?

LEARN HOW TO READ HER BODY LANGUAGE!!!!

(Seriously, I don’t know how many times I have to say this.)

Body Language will give you all the cues and hints you need to know when she’s ready to be kissed.  To learn this, check out The Art Of Approaching, because I go into great detail about the body language cues you need to learn to spot these opportunities.

And once you’ve made your move, take a STRONG LEAD.  Meaning, be the one who decides where the interaction goes.  Be the one who looks her in the eye, and says “Let’s take this to the bedroom.”  Be the one who takes her by the hand and leads her to your bed.  Be the INITIATOR (TM)!

Once you do this, and accept your role, you’ll find the awkwardness disappears.