How To Meet Women

Hey guys,

Hope you enjoyed the last audio bit I did for Halloween. Here’s another one for you on how to create simple, easy costumes for Halloween night that will help you meet more women than you know what to do with!

Holla back in the comments.

The great and mighty GUNWITCH writes in with some helpful Haloween tips…

Some tips from my site for halloween.

Wear a COOL costume. Something that says “sex” in her mind. Zorro, a vampire without the dime store rat teeth, a rockstar, a human looking devil even.

DON”T be a zombie, or a urinal, or a siamese twin with a blow up doll taped to your head!

Vice versa, talk to more women who are “with it” enough to be wearing a sexual outfit as well. Witches, hookers (hey shannon), vampiress’, Elviras (hey sherry), female devils (hey erica) etc etc etc. If she turns you on, approach and smile and make good eye contact!

Be HIGH ENERGY. Don’t be like all the other weird people who are kind of in thier costume “character”, be really outgoing, yell “HEY cool costume!” at chicks. Network the whole place and let your vibe when you get interest do the seducing, not the words. Remember its a fun night and the only night many of these chicks are out, so you don’t wanna bore anyone. Dance, mover her around the place, play paper rock scissors, you get the idea, be FUN more than usual.

CLOSE CLOSE CLOSE. Let the cat out of the bag early and often, as soon as you get any sexual vibe, offer to get alone with her back at your place or hers. Chicks are WAY out of character on Halloween, even the most uptight ones, PLUS they are in disguise full blown. This means almost no resistance to sex or “feeling like a slut”.

HAVE YOUR BASE GAME DOWN!

Check out my website, and buy the course at the discount price through halloween of 19.95, and give it a read or a listen through, and work the materials. Remember just because it’s a loose holiday, is no excuse to run poor game, never forget your foundations…

Take advantage of the special 19.95 price through halloween, you will find no better deal on a full audio course from a top guru than right here right now with this special.

Special price and audio tutorial@
www.dynamicsexlife.com

Gunny even decorated his site for Halloween!  How cool.  =)

Donovan has a rather interesting field report up on his blog.

The reason its interesting is because it’s not only a report from the guy who did the pick-up, but it also get’s the girl who got picked-up’s point of view.

Here’s my favorite part, where she’s writing about her experience:

Her: First of all, let me tell you something about myself. I’m not your typical shy, submissive asian girl. On the contrary, guys are intimidated by me. I’m very sensible and i’m very proud of my logical brain.

Usually with guys, i can sense the bullshit coming miles away. I tend to be very dismissive of guys’ so-called “lines.” And i thought i was immune to pick-ups. that is, until i met Sean. He blew me away and i was just too taken aback to react with my “logical brain.”

And one more thing, about the time that this happened, i was a little upset about boys, the last thing i want is to date one.

This just goes to show what we in the dating advice industry say all along…

THIS STUFF WORKS.

This girl thought she was “pick up proof,” which is kind-of silly, since every guy she’s ever been with has picked her up in some way, shape, or form.  Her mentality wasn’t even that of a girl who was INTERESTED in being with a guy!

But when you use the right techniques, you can completely overcome that - whether she doesn’t like your looks, or your lifestyle, or anything like that.  It can be overcome.

The whole point of these dating tactics that I teach is about by-passing a girl’s logical/critical factors, and dealing specifically with her emotional mind.  When guys don’t do this, that’s when her “bullshit alarm” goes off.  But when you’re able to connect with her in such a way where you can access her emotions, they completely BYPASS her logical mind saying - “YES! YES!  I WANT THIS!”

The proof is in the pudding.  Just read what she said!  It’s all there.

Juggler has a post up on his blog which explains his basic structure of pick-up:

This is the basic structure:

1. Get a commitment
2. Reward her
3. She shows interest
4. Reveal your attraction (SOI)
5. Find info
6. Make appropriate close or continuation

Wayne

That’s what I like about Juggler - he’s a man of few words.  =)

I recently got a question from a student who calls himself SGH, trying to stump me.

Here’s his question…

QUESTION:Hi Joe,

When we think about the whole concept of dating, and why most men struggle to get a girlfriend or in some cases even simply just a date for the evening or so, we need to go way down the rabbit whole, where no man has gone before.

Simply put, I believe that the whole “Mating Game” is based on a set of fixed rules, which cannot be changed.

For example your material teaches guys to rely on their personality to achieve success in the dating game.

The simple truth however is that like other animals we mate with those which are the strongest candidates. This is all based on physical qualities.

Call it survival of the fittest is you like, but someone who is tall/muscular is automatically perceived as being essentially in a better state of health, thus a stronger candidate.

The truth is that people are more likely to be attracted to someone who has all the “required” physical qualities than someone who has a attractive personality example.

I mean, would you rather sleep with someone who is physically attractive yet has no personality … or would you rather sleep with someone who has a great personality but not so much physically attractive?

Can you please express your views on this.

thanks, SGH

Well, HELLO MR. FANCY PANTS. =)

You break it down like you got a PhD in evolutionary biology.  But there are some massive flaws in your argument that I hope you don’t mind me pointing out…

First of all, human beings aren’t animals.

Sure, we’re a species, and though we share some similarities with the animals on our planet, I assure you, we are DIFFERENT in many ways.

For instance, I’m willing to bet you don’t go around sniffing people’s butts, eating your poo, and picking fleas off of strangers just for a snack.

(And if you do, I’m afraid you’re beyond my ability to help! =)

See, you’re the type of guy who still buys into the idea that “Looks Matter.”

And thought they DO matter, they don’t matter in the way YOU think they do.

It’s important to look as good as you can, but you don’t have to be tall and muscular to get hot chicks.

Just look around life and see how many short, scrawny guys are out there with hotties.  That should be proof.

Your problem my friend (and the problem of many men) is that you focus too much on YOUR insecurities about your looks, and then project your own biases onto other people.

Let me ask you this…

Would you ever want to bang a fat chick?

Answer honestly now…

In your case, judging from your email, I’m willing to bet the answer to that is NO.

But there are lots of guys out there who like to bang Large Women.

(Heck, some of them ONLY like fat women!)

How do you explain that one with your evolution theory?

Answer:  YOU CAN’T!

Because human beings have a more complicated mental and emotional structure than any other animal on the planet.

And because it’s complicated, it allows for lots of leeway when it comes to so-called “survival instincts.”

The fact is, we don’t always mate with the best possible match for us.

And that is DEFINITELY true for women.

Dude, I’d take the Pepsi challenge with my tubby old ass against a mute muscle-man any day of the week.

Because personality, willpower, and smarts can get any chick you want against muscles and looks any time.

I’ve seen it happen time and time again, and experienced it myself.

Women are emotional creatures.  If you can tap into their emotions, you can generate attraction with them, no matter what you look like.

Physical attributes may be a factor in the short term, but in the long term, unless you have an emotional connection, you’re going to fall flat.

The only good looking guy I would ever worry about is one who also knows and practices my techniques!

And in that case, I’d wish him well, and find another woman to pick up…

(Because there are a gazillion of them out there!)

And out of all the women on the planet, I’ll bet you good money there are ones that like short scrawny guys.

But even if you find them, there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to attract them…

UNLESS you know my material.

Check it out here:

The How To Meet Women Course

It’s the new world order, my friend.  Welcome to it.

Talk soon,

Joseph Matthews

The Dating Wizard (Yes! He’s an actual Wizard! Harry Potter style, yo!) sent me a rather good article about pleasure, sex, sexual pleasure, yadda, yadda, yadda…

Anyway here’s the article. Read it and be amazed… (more…)

Okay, it’s not MY first, rather, it’s a guy by the name of Jekyll who wants to share his first 3-way experience with others as a way to educate/warn the masses.  You can read the whole thing below the fold… (more…)

I found a rather interesting and amusing post from a guy going by electrobank over on the mASF forums. His post was about women who specifically go out looking for one night stands, and how to spot them. Check it out…

Electrobank writes:
I’ve talked to many girls who I’ve been with as well as random girls I’ve met about under what circumstances they or their friend would go home with or have a ONS with a guy they met in a bar or club. The majority of them say (as most guys already know) that most girls already know before they go out that they’re planning on going home with a guy that night and that everything they do and wear is planned to attract the right guy for hooking up or having sex with that night.
In one case I talked to a group of girls who were friends of a girl my friend took home and they were telling me all about how she had planned it before she even came out and that they helped her get dressed up that night with the intent of having a ONS. They went into detail about the black dress with the laces on the back & the slit in the front that they picked out, the body glitter on her chest, ect, ect. This was all intentionally planned, my friend didn’t game her into it, she was going to do this with someone and he just happened to be the lucky one who approached her. Also, since the friends knew about it they helped it to happen, so he didn’t get any resistance.

I know guys who seem to have a radar for girls like this. They can spot out the girls who are going to put out that night and usually get them home that night, while others who have even better game and looks who don’t pick up on things like this don’t have much luck getting girls home the night they meet them because they’re hitting on the wrong ones. It’s not always as simple as looking for the drunkest girl, the sluttiest dressed girl or the most social one, there’s other subtleties that distinguish a girl who is determined to get laid that night from the rest. They might not even be a slutty girl or have even ever done this before but for whatever reason, maybe a bad breakup or issues in their life, they feel they can resolve them with a night of causal sex.
So for the guys who have a talent for seeking these girls out, what are some of the things you look for? Ways they dress, how they act when they’re out, what they say, ect?

Yes, it’s true, girls get horny too. This IS a phenomenon that I see in the bar/club scene as well.

Now, it’s hard to spot EVERY girl looking to hook up in a bar and club, but there are a few tell-tale signs that will help you to spot them. However, know that because she’s looking for a One Night Stand hook-up, she will be placing a greater importance on looks than most girls normally do. That said, you don’t know what type of looks she may find attractive, so don’t let this take you out of the game prematurely.

First of all, you can spot these girls from the way they are dressed. Most of them will dress very provacatively. They’ll definitely be gussied up, but usually they’ll do something like not wear a bra, so you can see their nipples or something. They’ll also usually be showing a lot of skin.

The second thing is, these girls will tend to be “attention whores” that night. They’ll be trying to attract as much attention to themselves as possible to get guys to approach them. So if you see a girl being very outgoing and courting attention, that will be a sure sign.

Finally, look at the way her friends are acting. If they’re letting her go on and do stuff that normally, girls would let other girls do (like make out with a stranger, act a little wild, whatever), you’ll be able to tell that they know the girl’s intention.
I’m sure there are various other signs, but those are the 3 biggest ones I notice.

So I found this article where some guys listed the worst lines a girl ever gave them to turn them down from a date.  Some of them are doozies.  Here are a few of my favorites:

“A woman told me she was probably going to be too tired the night I asked her out… but she told me this two days ahead of time.” -Kevin, 41, Dallas, TX

“A girl I liked said she wouldn’t date people born the same month she was.” -Greg, 22, Wilmington, DE

“She told me she had to go buy the donuts for her Singles with STDs group. Point taken.” -Greg, 32, San Diego, CA

Read more of them here.

Found an interesting post over on mASF about the question of chicks and guys who play music.  Check it out:

Bede writes:
One of the things I’ve noticed over the years is that girls get really turned on when I play the piano. I’m pretty good, and I focus on playing jazz and blues. If I play at a friend’s party I quickly get surrounded by HBs.

Anyone else have a similar experience? Another interesting thing is this: I have several friends who are talented classical musicians, but they don’t seem to do anything like as well off the back of their skills. It seems the chicks either prefer the kind of music I play *or* they are more attracted to guys who can master the improvisational style rather than just “playing off the dots”.

I guess I could make up an evolutionary reason for this - girls like guys who are fast thinkers, dextrous, etc. or maybe just guys who have fine motor control in their fingers

Any thoughts?

Well, it’s a bit simpler than any evolutionary trigger there might be.  I mean, c’mon.  Cavewomen weren’t going ga-ga for Cromm when he was beating on his stone drums.

The reason women are so into musicians, and ESPECIALLY rock stars (though rock stars have the added benefit of massive social proof) is a very simple one.

Women are EMOTIONAL creatures.  They respond to emotion.  They are empathetic.

Music EVOKES emotion.

Therefore, the emotions experienced from the music get linked to the musician playing the music.

It’s THAT simple.

How many times have you caught yourself rocking out to a certain song?  Remember the feeling you experienced when that happened?  It was a powerful emotion!  And when women experience that, their brains are hard-wired to direct those powerful, positive emotions directly to their attraction centers.

The best skill any guy could learn to pick up chicks is to learn a musical instrament, preferably a guitar, since it’s easily mobile and has a mystique around it.  Here in LA, there are guys who actually go to clubs who serenade anyone with a guitar and a violin for a few bucks, just doing cover songs, and they get laid All The Time.

Music is powerful.  Don’t discount it.

Wow, wow, and wow.  Check out what I just found in the latest edition of FHM magazine…

FHM Reports:
In TV Land’s new reality show I Pity The Fool, Mr. T brings his mohawk - and no formal counseling training - to bear on real people’s problems, offering such advice as, “Don’t be disrespecting no lady, fool.”  The transformations begin October 11 at 10 p.m.

You can pity the official site of all this jibba-jabber here. (Be warned, the pity will be flying as soon as you load the page!)

Best.  Idea.  For.  A.  TV.  Show.  Ever.

Donnovan, of Attraction Chronicles fame, has one of his Seduction Masters Interviews up, this time with Dr. Paul.  Dr. Paul is one of those “confidence creator” guys who’s taught at a few David DeAngelo seminars.  He’s a good guy, and his stuff seems to really work.  Here’s my favorite part of the interview…

Donovan & Dr. Paul write:
4. Can you describe the first time you used a counter-intuitive routine that yielded it’s promised results, and how you felt?

I don’t use routines. That’s ridiculous. I’m about being myself and knowing what time it is with people and their behavior. Be real. I think there are a lot of promised results not based in science. And guess what, they don’t work every time, for every guy in every situation. Science does. That’s why it has lasted since the first caveman threw a rock in the air and shouted “cool” when it reliably fell to the ground every single time he threw it. Well, that’s caveman science for you. I do like mystery’s material in the sense that it does have an experimental testing tone to it, which is kinda sorta science-like, but still based in personal experience rather than formal research and education. Like him as a person too. He’s an inquisitive mind, and a good heart, wanting to help guys. Some other folk, well whatever…

Here’s why I like this answer…

I like it because Dr. Paul is really touting a hard-core, confidence based mentality here.  Guys with the right set of inner game don’t need to use routines, etc.

But, that being said, I don’t 100% agree with him.

Tell that to someone who has little, no, or bad experiences with women, and he’s going to look at you cross-eyed.  To most guys struggling with women, the whole “Be Yourself” advice is about as worthwhile as tits on a log.  (Though some would argue tits are NEVER worthless, but I digress…)

I think to dismiss routines completely dismisses the whole “process” of learning seduction.

Most guys don’t know anything about women, or how to pick them up, date them, or even understand them.  This is because no one ever taught them, or they were taught wrongly.  I think the use of routines helps to re-train people and put them on the right path for them to GET TO THE POINT where they don’t need to use them.

Most routines are part of a process of attraction.  The whole Find, Meet, Attract, Close mentality is a step-by-step process, and each step has routines that go with it.  This is so guys who have struggled in the past have a guideline to follow.  Once one has experience AND success with the process, they can start to shed routines because they have a better understanding of the process AND themselves.

That is why I am still a big believer in routines and patterns and all that jazz - because it gives you a good starting framewrok from which to learn.

I don’t use too many routines anymore, but when I first started out, I used them ALL THE TIME.  And I’m glad I did, because it helped me understand how the attraction & dating process worked with women, and it also make me focus on my internal game and helped to fine tune it.

The goal of every man should be like Dr. Paul suggests - get to the point where you DON’T NEED pre-canned or memorized material, where you can showcase your personality and have that be your main attractor.  But don’t expect it to happen overnight.  It is, after all, a process.

Screech from “Saved by the Bell” made a porno where he gives girls a “Dirty Sanchez“.

From The New York Daily News:
He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom “Saved by the Bell.” But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

We can’t get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a “Dirty Sanchez.”

Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood’s biggest celebrity-skin deals, confirms that he’s acquired the rights to a tape featuring Diamond.

“Just when you think you have seen everything in this business,” he tells us, “mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it.”

Schmidt is in L.A., shopping the tape to Hustler’s Larry Flynt, Vivid’s Steven Hirsch and other major distributors of adult video.

Now age 29, the 6-foot Diamond is much brawnier than you may remember him. He’s a black belt in karate, and, four years ago, he defeated Ron Palillo (Horshack on “Welcome Back, Kotter”) on Fox’s “Celebrity Boxing 2.”

Diamond’s manager, Roger Paul, said his client has become a successful standup comic and will appear on the ABC sitcom “The Knights of Prosperity.”

“I haven’t seen the tape,” Paul told us. “I’ve heard rumors. Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings.”

In 1996, former “Saved by the Bell” sweetheart Elizabeth Berkley bared all in the Paul Verhoeven-Joe Eszterhas trashterpiece, “Show Girls.”

The sex vid’s working title is “Saved by the Smell.” Ewwwww.

It’s like christmas already.  =)

A student from Germany sent in this question…

Hi! I think biggest fear what men have (including me) is doing cold approach (bars,clubs,coffee shops). Is there some “trick” or something that you can get over that fear of approaching women?

I have noticed now that when your inner game is fixed and you can be ok with yourself, people stare at you, like you are a celebrity or famous rockstar. I get these things where-ever I go….I think you have sexual power, confidence, high self-esteem, and high status etc. And you’re not needy. Keep up good work!

I’m right there with you.

It’s funny, because one of the questions I get asked all the time is: “When does the fear of approaching go away?”

And my answer is always - NEVER.

I’ve done thousands of approaches (my estimation, I have no physical statistics to back that up), and I get scared every single time I do them. Even big time Pick Up Artists I know still get nervous or whatever before they approach someone. Why is this? Because it’s hard to do! Cold approaches are about finding a way to invade someone’s reality and stay there, and it can be a daunting task - ESPECIALLY if there’s a desired outcome at stake.

But yes, my friend. There IS a “trick” to it.

Actually, there are several tricks. One trick is what I like to call the “Warm Up.” It’s a way to get you “socially lubricated” so it becomes easy to approach, and the way I do it completely by-passes any approach anxiety.

Another trick is called “repitition.” (original, I know) That’s basically where you do enough approaches that you find your “groove,” so it stops being scary. This only comes with experience (but if you do my bootcamp, it makes it very easy).

Another way is what I like to call “Crash & Burn,” where you purposefully do a few bad sets with the INTENTION of crashing and burning, just to get it out of your system, so you can then focus on succeeding. (That’s not what I would recommend to guys just starting out or who have self-esteem issues, but it’s a trick I’ve used before.)

But bar none, the best “Trick” I can think of os knowledge and preparation. If you know what to do, and you’re prepared to do it, you can pretty much do anything - no matter how scary it is. You just have to have the WILL to do it and the DESIRE to succeed. I describe my journey with the same fears and insecurities in The Art Of Approaching, and I created that course to help teach guys how to overcome these fears and never get rejected.

Here’s another question from a student here in California about his crippling shyness:

I’m painfully shy when I’m in social situations, so shy that sometimes people think I’m mad.  I have noticed that people even avoid talking to me because I make them feel uncomfortable around me, both guys and girls. I’m also too quiet that’s why nobody want to hang out with me. I’m too boring I guess.  Please Help!

Okay, so you know you’re shy, and you want to overcome your shyness, right?

WRONG!

Here’s the thing my friend:  You’re not really shy.  I don’t believe there is such a thing as “Shyness.”  That’s just a word we made up to hide the REAL problem, which is this:

You have trained yourself the WRONG WAY to interact with people.

It’s really as simple as that.  You never learned what it takes to meet and hang out with strangers.  You trained yourself to sit quietly, closed off from the world.  And what’s more, I bet your body language shows that.  I’m willing to bet you’re the type of guy who stands there with his arms crossed, and unconscious frown on his face because he wants to be a part of the party, but doesn’t know how.  That, combined with your isolationist tendencies, makes people think you’re mad, and avoid you.

But the REAL reason people avoid you is because when you do this, you give off NEGATIVE energy.  People want to be around positive things - like laughter, smiles, kisses, hugs, jokes, music, etc.

Not some dude with a frown on his face, standing around with his arms crossed, not talking to anyone.

Ever hear the old saying, you catch more flied with honey than you do with vinegar?  It’s TRUE!

So what’s the solution?  Well, it might not be an answer you want to hear.  You have to RE-TRAIN yourself about how you interact with other people.  That is the ONLY way I know of to change your current situation.

And you can re-train yourself in a number of ways.  But here’s the thing - I used to be JUST LIKE YOU!  I’d be the guy people would think was mad, or upset, or whatever, because I never talked to anyone.  And you know what?  IT SUCKED!  That’s why I started re-training myself.

In my book, The Art Of Approaching, I give you a complete blueprint you can use to actually go out and change how you interact with others.  It’s not hard, and it’s not scary.  You just have to be willing to do it.

A student of mine sent in a question concerning difficulty “closing the deal.”

My problem is not so much HOW to meet women, or even what to say to them. My BIGGEST problem is feeling comfortable enough to close the deal and head to the bedroom, and even knowing when to do it.  It’s what I want obviously, but I get extremely nervous.  I’m not greatly experienced in the sack but I have been told I know what I’m doing, yet I still get worried that I’m not going to perform like I should.  I’m not sure how to handle this other than to just get out there and do it, but I am wondering if there is anything i can do to ease the initial tension of having sex with new people.  I would appreciate a response.  Your e-mails have been very helpful to me and I thank you for you help.

I feel ya, brutha.

When I was starting to get good at this, I had advanced my skills to the point where meeting, dating, and talking to women wasn’t a problem at all.  But I was STILL dropping the ball when it came time to make my move!

And the crappy thing about that is, if a girl wants you to make a move, and you don’t do it - no matter how many chances she gives you - she’s eventually going to think you’re not interested and move on.  And once that happens, it’s EXTREMELY hard to get a second chance with her.  And then there are times where the opportunity to make your move is there, and once it’s gone, she’s just lost interest.

That is why it is IMPERATIVE you take action when the time is right!

Being uncomfortable in the late game really has to do with inexperience.  If you’re worried about how you’re going to perform, how you’re going to make your move, whatever - you’re going to take yourself out of the game. And also, don’t forget the fact that at this stage of the game, you and the girl will be in deep rapport (if you’ve done your job right).  This means that if YOU get nervous/uncomfortable, then SHE will become nervous and uncomfortable too.  Never a good thing.

Here’s the thing… just relax, and instead of focusing on all the unknowns, imagine success instead.  Imagine you performing great, and having a fun time.  Focus on the good things about the experience, and keep your energy and attitude positive.

Learn to make your move and make out with her.  Once the petting starts, you’ll find the tension goes away.

So how do you know when to make your move?

LEARN HOW TO READ HER BODY LANGUAGE!!!!

(Seriously, I don’t know how many times I have to say this.)

Body Language will give you all the cues and hints you need to know when she’s ready to be kissed.  To learn this, check out The Art Of Approaching, because I go into great detail about the body language cues you need to learn to spot these opportunities.

And once you’ve made your move, take a STRONG LEAD.  Meaning, be the one who decides where the interaction goes.  Be the one who looks her in the eye, and says “Let’s take this to the bedroom.”  Be the one who takes her by the hand and leads her to your bed.  Be the INITIATOR (TM)!

Once you do this, and accept your role, you’ll find the awkwardness disappears.

So I came across this extremely interesting article about the rules of attraction, and how scientists are actually trying to define if there is, in fact, a set of rules that guide us to one type of person as opposed to another.

Anna Saunders writes:
SCIENTISTS are analysing love and sexual attraction to identify what makes us fall for someone.

It’s a classic scenario. It’s nearly midnight at a heaving, inner-city club and a cluster of girls are giggling over their cocktails, when one looks up and spots a young man across the room.

Their eyes lock, they smile shyly … and, well, you know the rest.

What attracted them to each other? Was it her blonde hair? His muscular arms?

Not likely, say some scientists, who would argue it was his symmetrical face, the length of his index finger or even that she looks a little like his mother …

Joe’s Note: Ewwwwww…

Rose-toting romantics may scoff at the notion, but scientists are increasingly analysing love and sexual attraction, in a bid to identify exactly why we fall for one another.

The scent of a woman

So what makes one person’s dreamboat another person’s shipwreck?

Pheromones are probably the best known- and most controversial - scientific theory behind attraction.

“Pheromones are basically chemical signals. You detect them with tiny sensors in your nose,” says Dr Ann McDonnell, a biomedical science lecturer at Griffith University.

Scientists have long known that pheromones help animals attract each other, but it is less clear how they affect humans.

But we know they do affect us. Women know that their menstrual cycles often synchronise when they’re living together.

Research in the 1980s linked this to pheromones - and since then the race has been on to identify (and make millions off) pheromones that attract the opposite sex.

Because pheromones are found in underarm sweat, some researchers have even employed women to sniff men’s unwashed shirts, with Swiss scientists discovering that women prefer the smell of pheromones that are similar to their own.

“But what we know about pheromones is the tip of the iceberg,” says McDonnell.

Some companies are already selling pheromone perfumes over the internet. But do they work? McDonnell snorts.

“There’s nothing you can buy in a bottle from eBay that is going to make you irresistible.”

Personally, I’m not a big believer in the whole “Pheromone” thing. I think humans primarily rely on seeing, hearing, and touching as their primary senses. That’s not to say a good cologne can’t help your cause (or going for weeks without showering can hurt it), but I just don’t see the whole “pheromone” craze as something viable UNTILL scientists can create something, Love Potion #9-style, to get women going ga-ga for you on the first sniff.

I’ve heard of all sorts of things guys do to try and “capitalize” on this pheromone idea. One of the grossest examples was giving a woman hankerchiefs soaked in their sweat (presumably during dancing in the nightclub). I even heard this was a popular pick-up technique used in Europe for a while. Again, all I can say to this is: Ewwwwwww.

When it comes to the sense of smell, go for a good cologne or body spray. Don’t rely on your musk to attract a woman for you. Use it to give you a boost. (more…)

There’s a very interesting study profiled by the BBC recently about how most men who pay for sex already have a partner.  Check this out…

The BBC Reports:
Glasgow’s Sandyford Initiative analysed data on 2,500 men who attended a sexual health clinic. One in 10 said they had paid for sex.

Of those around one in four said they repeatedly used prostitutes, 43% had a partner and 20% had a sexually transmitted infection.

Data collected between October 2002 and February 2004 appears in the journal Sexually Transmitted Infections.

The researchers warned that their figures could be an under-estimate of the true numbers who pay for sex.

They found that over half of those men who admitted paying for sex had done so while abroad, while 40% said they had paid for it locally.

An interesting finding of the study was that the majority of the men who pay for sex use condoms, except when recieving oral sex, and that there was a relatively high occurance of STDs with this group - none of which was HIV, however.

But on a bigger scale, why is it what the majority of men who pay for sex already have a partner at home?  (This is one of the questions women just don’t want to know the answer to.)

In my humble opinion, it’s because the guy who goes looking for it elsewhere isn’t getting what he needs from his partner.  In other words, the chick he’s with isn’t “putting out enough.”

Sure, there may be a “dog” factor in all this, as in men just can’t keep it in their pants.  But that may only account for a small percentage.  I think the bigger problem is that men wind up with a partner they’re not happy with, or their partner stopped trying to please them or meet their sexual needs.

Men are sexual beasts, damn it!  We need it at least once a day.  And if our cravings aren’t met, we look for it elsewhere.  Frankly, I’m not shocked at these statistics.  I think most married men find sex workers convenient because you don’t get any crazy “stalker” girlfriends coming along and ruining your family/marriage/relationship, whatever.  As Charlie Sheen used to say:  “I don’t pay hookers for sex, I pay them to go away.”

But here’s the thing:  I really don’t believe in cheating on your partner.  If you’re unhappy, you either have to take steps to fix the problem, or break up and find a better match for yourself.  None of this “sneaking around” bullshit.  You’re together with your partner for a REASON, and if your needs aren’t being met, either do something about it or leave.  Don’t just SETTLE because you don’t think you can do any better or your scared of being alone.  Would you rather run the risk of getting (and passing along) an STD than just DTB (that’s dump that bitch, for those of you not hip to my jive) and move on with your life?

Part of what I love about what I teach in the Art Of Approaching is that it’s EMPOWERING.  It gives you control over an aspect of your life that was previously thought to be uncontrolable.

In other words:  Be a man, go for what you want, and do not settle for anything less!

I found a pretty interesting (yet pattently depressing) article in the St. Paul Pioneer about men over 40 who are having trouble in the dating scene.

Nhia Tongchai Lee writes:
Second chances at love don’t come often when you hit your 40s.

That’s what many single men in that age group are finding out. Dating now has become a challenge compared with when they were in their 20s.

John Drysdale, 46, divorced in 2001. He says finding someone his age who is educated, single and ready to settle down is a rare thing.

“The demographics are definitely different,” says the southwest Minneapolis resident. “When I was in my 20s, everyone was single and in the same boat. Now, the majority of people I know in their 40s are all married, and here I am — single again.”

Going to bars to meet new people was out of the question for him. “I didn’t know where to go anymore,” he says. “Single people my age are not hanging out at the pub and social clubs. The availability is limited.”

Hate to break it to you, but dating is ALWAYS a challenge. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be a “game,” would it? But the number of men who are getting divorced or finding themselves suddenly single later on in life IS going up. The problem is, men over 40 are falling back on how they tried to get women when they were younger, and what works for younger guys isn’t always the best tactic for guys who are more mature.

For instance, club going. Going to clubs and bars to pick up chicks is a young man’s game. Not to say older guys can’t do it, but you have to pick the right scene. Go to a bar or club that caters to college students, you’re going to stick out like a sore thumb. But go to a bar that caters to the “happy hour” professional crowd, and that may be more your speed.

But personally, I hate the bar/club scene for picking up. It’s good for dates and going out on the town with a chick, but it’s a competitive and high-energy pick up environment, and guys who are out of the game for a while can find it difficult to go back into.

In the case of this article, the guy in question was looking for women “his age,” meaning over 40. Chances are, any woman at that age worth her salt probably has been married before and has some kids - and you can bet your ASS they’re not going to bars and clubs.

As far as I see it, there are really only 2 choices for men over 40 looking to get back in the dating game.

If they’re looking for women their own age, they MUST go online. That’s where most mature, single women who are too busy to go out congregate to look for Mr. Right. That’s not to say you can’t go out to certain events or venues and find these women, but this is the easiest route.

The second option is to go for YOUNGER women. Many women find older men more attractive, and if you can put up with the experience level difference, I’d suggest going for single women ranging from 26-33, and there are TONS of places you can go to find these women.

But remember: Old men can’t try to pick up women like guys in their 20s. Sure, the psychology of attraction is the same, but the methods are a bit different. So the first thing you got to do if you’re over 40 and looking for love, is to forget about everything you did when you were younger that worked, because it won’t all apply to you anymore. A lot of the personality/attitude stuff is the same, but you have to keep in mind who you’re going after, and where you now are in your life.

If you can do that, the rest should be easy.

The American Chronicle (you know, that online bastion for solid dating advice) has an article up telling people how to write a good, content-rich online dating profile. Check it:

Pradeep Aggarwal writes:
Are you trying to find the man or woman of your dreams? Online dating can help you find your potential date. You need to write a personal ad or a dating profile which will give you an opportunity to select your soul mate. An online dating ad which is written clearly is informative and full of good content will fetch you quality responses.

We find certain profiles on online dating sites which are written spontaneously and they lack creativity. These kind of profiles will lead you to attracting the wrong kind of person. The common mistakes that people make in their dating profiles are mentioned below. Read them carefully and avoid repeating these mistakes.

The dating profiles have sentences like “I am a witty person having a great sense of humor” Instead of that you could write something humorous in your profile. Sexual innuendos should be avoided as it gives a wrong impression the first time. Write something romantic instead of writing that your are sexy and flirtatious.

Avoid using adjectives like honest, lovable, creative, and imaginative or that you have an above average IQ while describing yourself. Instead mention that you are an artist or a musician etc. It is also important to present yourself in positive manner. You could write that you like reading or mountain climbing or walking by the beach instead of saying that you are bored so you wrote this ad.

Show a positive attitude to online dating. Mention that you are interested in meeting new people who are interested and having common interests. Avoid writing that you are interested in the guy who makes you laugh (shows a depressed side of yourself). You are not looking for a clown to make you laugh but you are looking for a Date.

Mention your preferences clearly. Don’t write that you are interested in fair complexioned women but maybe if they are dark but attractive you may consider. It is a turn off to both the women.

The Ad should reflect your positivity and should be informative and rich in content. A well written Ad will always give you success in getting a good response to online dating.

All in all, not some bad advice.  But if you really want to get a heads-up on your internet dating skillz, there is no other option - go to the Insider Internet Dating website and learn from Dave M.  The guy is a MACHINE I tells ya!  I’ve never seen anyone pull more online ass in my life.  DM’s got the goods, and his tactics put Pradeep’s to shame.

Here is the advice Sean Penn gives to boys dating his 15 year old daughter…

Sean Penn says:
“I tell them that whatever they do to my daughter that night, they better be prepared to come home and do it to me too.”

Wow, and they give Michael Jackson a hard time.

Yet another bizaar fettish I don’t really understand…

From Hoes.com:
No, we’re not talking about eating p*ssy or licking ass. We’re talking about women sitting their asses right down on a man’s f*cking face like it’s a barstool. His face is literally engulfed in ass, almost to the point of suffocation. In most cases, these submissive men are laying on their backs when a woman walks over either fully clothed, with panties on or bare ass nekkid, planting her lucisous ass on his face, covering both his nose and mouth. Still can’t see the difference between facesitting and eating p*ssy? Look at it this way. You can’t eat p*ssy when someone is sitting on your face. All you can do is hope she stands up before you pass out from not being able to breathe.

Yes, this seems like a healthy endeavor for men to partake in.

NOT.

I really believe there’s a damaged psychology that goes along with men wanting to be “dominated.” There’s a kind-of submissiveness forced upon men by society, media, and even parents nowadays that too many men just accept and secretly harbor. Male energy is an AGGRESSIVE energy. We were meant to be hunters. We were meant to be strong, to be protectors. So why is it that there are men out there who want to be dominated? Suffocated to death by ass? (How would that look on a coroner’s report? Admittedly, I can think of worse ways to go…)