Dating In your 30’s – A Male’s Perspective
September 28, 2006 by Joseph Matthews
Filed under Analysis
Found a great article on Encore Online written by a 30 year old guy who points out the major differences in the dating game during this milestone.
Sean Snyder writes:
Things have certainly changed. I remember dates in my 20s to be a bit more lighthearted. Now my dates seem to have more of an agenda. I can see them with their notebooks, checking off criteria and measuring me as the evening goes on. They need to get going with their life and don’t have any time to play around.The biological clock sets the parameters for our dates. As the years have dripped by, many more of my dates have children. Nothing I am opposed to, but it brings another notebook and added pressure.
I like smiles and laughter on a date. Now I feel the weight of these biological constraints. The humor is gone. I can see it in her eyes that if I am not the one for her then this date needs to end. She needs to find Mr. Right.
On first dates as a 30 year old, I get exasperation when I try to interject levity. I get looks of “Hey, you! I am trying to conduct an interview here to measure your worthiness. Stop joking around.”
Wow! I want to try and have a fun evening. When did this become an interview?
The rules of engagement have changed. I prepare for a date now like going for a job or mortgage. Career history, salary bracket, family genetics and personal background all play a part. I make sure to bring a current copy of my credit score and drug test with me. That doesn’t set the tone for a romantic evening.
Now when a date asks if I like children I know she is asking about her children. Children I have never met. Questions about my job stability and living situation are meant to determine if I am ready to settle down.
I get nostalgic for the 20-something dates I had. Nervousness back then was about being with the opposite sex not an interrogation of my worthiness as a potential life partner. There is no room for humor.
There’s a BIG reason for what this poor guy is experiencing.
As we get older, men’s stock goes up, and women’s stock goes down. The older a woman gets, the more her looks go, and the less male attention she gets. When women hit 30, it suddenly dawns on them – “Oh crap! It’s getting harder to attract guys! I’m getting old, and my looks aren’t what they used to be!” (this is especially true if she’s pumped out a few kids.)
So these women get serious. They are looking for a PROVIDER. We’re talking husband material here, gentlement. They want a guy who can care for them (and their rug rats, if they have ‘em), pay their bills, and give them a good lifestyle. Things like “fun” aren’t as important at this stage of the game, especially when a woman knows her primo “snag-&-grab” time is almost up.
It sounds like this 30-something year old guy, Sean, who wrote the article, would be better of dating (dare I say it? *gasp*) YOUNGER women if what he wants is to have fun, carefree dates like he did in his youth.
To paraphrase Matthew McConaughay’s character in “Dazed and Confused,” — We Get Older, Women Stay The Same Age.
Meaning: all 20 year old chicks will act like 20 year old chicks. 30 year old chicks will always act like 30 year old chicks. And so on.
You can’t make a 30 year old woman act like a 20 year old. They’ve outgrown that. (literally) They have more experience, and different priorities.
This is why it’s important to KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. Do you want a fun, young, party girl to have a fling with? Or do you want a deep, serious relationship with the prospect of marriage? Sure, you can have deep, serious relationships with younger women, but the idea of marriage might hit them the wrong way because there’s so much more for them to experience. And you can also have a fun fling with a 30+ woman, but eventually, she’s going to wonder “where is this going?”
Speaking as a guy rapidly approaching 30 myself, I think the “sweet spot” for dating women is the 25-28 age range. Here’s where you get just enough maturity, but still have some real fun.
And also, avoid SINGLE MOMS! I’ve said this a million times. Sure, there’s nothing wrong with them if you like kids. But remember: their priority will be their kids, not their relationship with you. So if you want that kind of “let’s go have fun and hump like rabbits” attention, go for women who are available to do so.
Do You Think Girls Don’t Find You Attractive?
September 26, 2006 by Joseph Matthews
Filed under Articles
There are lots of reasons guys get frustrated with the process of dating women.
Not the least of which is the idea that there is something about them that is unattractive to the opposite sex.
Look, we all have things about us that we don’t like.
(After all, we know ourselves better than anyone else.)
But here’s the thing…
IF YOU LET YOUR LOOKS DETERMINE YOUR HAPPINESS, YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY!
There is no such thing as “Perfection.”
You will always be either too fat, or too skinny, or too bald, or your ears stick out a little bit too much…
There will ALWAYS be something about yourself that you don’t like!
But the simple fact of the matter is this – just because YOU don’t like it, doesn’t mean others won’t.
You never know what physical attributes women will find attractive. So why try to obsess over what you THINK they won’t like?
I used to think that just because I’m overweight, that meant girls wouldn’t like me.
But I’ve seen TONS of overweight guys who had smoking hot girlfriends!
And I used to think that, if they could get a girl being fatter than me, then I could most certainly get a girl too!
You know what? I WAS RIGHT!!!
For every shortcoming you think you have, take a look around. Chances are, there’s some guy out there with the same shortcoming who’s succeeded with it.
Let me share a secret with you… Read more
Why Men Are Single
September 25, 2006 by Joseph Matthews
Filed under Rants
It’s a question everyone should be asking themselves:
“Why are so many men single nowadays?”
Seriously. There are so many single guys out there, and even worse, there are a great number of men out there in relationships they are UNHAPPY WITH!
So what is the reason for this strange and unsettling phenomenon?
I’ll tell you: Too many men are taught the WRONG THINGS about women.
This is a real epidemic. Worse that SARS, Bird Flu, or the Black Plague. This is bed because this wrong knowledge makes a WHOLE lotta men (and women) very unhappy. Face it, being lonely SUCKS. And the only thing worse than that is being with someone who makes you miserable.
Yet, we find that is the case time and time again.
So what’s a guy to do?
Simple. Learn the RIGHT WAY to deal with women. Read more
Get Laid Fast!
September 25, 2006 by Joseph Matthews
Filed under Tips & Tricks
It’s the biggest question on every man’s perverted mind. “How Do I Get Laid Fast?”
Screw getting laid slow! I’m lazy and imapatient, and I wanna get laid NOW! NOW DAMN IT, NOW!!!
Well, short of the obvious way of going out and getting yourself a hooker, how can you possibly get laid fast? Well, I guess you have to define what you mean by fast.
Are you talking “fast” as in “immediately, right this second?” Or are you talking “fast” as in “After I meet a girl, I want to know how to get her into bed the quickest way possible?”
If it’s option A, nothing short of the hooker or f-buddy option is going to suffice. If option B, there are a few tricks you can use to increase your chances of speeding up bedroom gymnastics. Read more
G Spot Diagram
September 25, 2006 by Joseph Matthews
Filed under Tips & Tricks
G-Spot Diagram
Everyone knows that sex with women can *sometimes* be a chore. After all, they don’t come with instruction manuals, do they? (Lord knows us men wished they did!)
But hey, let’s face it. You’re either a wham-bam-thankyouma’am type of guy, or you’re a guy who wants to give as much as he recieves. After all, there’s no better method of having the girl come back for more than pleasing her in bed better than any other man ever has.
This, of course, brings us to the subject of the G Spot.
I can’t tell you how frustrated I get when I’m with a woman who says “I can only orgasm when my clit is stimulated.” There’s nothing wrong with that, per say, but damn it! I want to stand out! I look at girls who’ve never had a G Spot Orgasm as a challenge. But sometimes, that challenge can be more than I’m willing to handle. I hate fishing around in there, looking for a G Spot, when there’s some hunk-hunka burnin’ lovin’ that could be going on!
(I’ve even had one girl tell me she was “broken,” because no one has ever been able to find her G Spot. Poor thing!)
Anyway, as GI Joe says, knowing is half the battle, so if you KNOW where the G Spot is, you won’t have to waste your precious nookie time looking around for it. So here’s an easy way to find the G Spot…
If the girl is laying down on her back, you can gently slide your finger into her, your finger tip contouring the roof of the vagina. Some guys just jam their finger all the way in, but the G Spot isn’t that far back. You’re looking for a kind-of spongy area, it almost feels like a soft raisin. Once you think you’ve found it, try gently stroking it. You can either do this in a “come hither” motion, or twist your wrist side-to-side. Ask the girl if that feels good. If it does, congrats, you just found the G-Spot!
NOTE: Stimulating the G Spot WILL make the girl feel like she has to pee. Let her know this before hand. This is tanta-mount to the female ejaculation.
How To Make Money Like A Porn Star…
September 24, 2006 by Joseph Matthews
Filed under News
Okay, so for those of you out there who read and loved “The Game: Penetrating The Secret Society Of Pick Up Artist,” you may be interested to know that Neil Strauss, the author of The Game, has a new book coming out called “How To Make Money Like A Porn Star.” The cool thing is, it isn’t just a novel – it’s a GRAPHIC NOVEL! Illustrated by none other than Bernard Chang, the guy who created the art for The Game.
Neil, who also wrote “How To Make Love Like A Porn Star,” the biography of Jenna Jameson, goes hog-wild in this satyrical look at porn, society, sexual depravity, crazy middle-eastern oil sheiks, and capitalism. I actually got to read the book almost 5 months ago while they were still editing it, and it was a really fun book. (Plus, no one draws sexier women than Bernard Chang!)
Anyway, for those of you “in the know,” you might be interested to find there is an Easter Egg Shoutout to yours truely in there. Some of you may be aware I had a chapter in The Game where I ranked Neil as the #1 Pick Up Artist out there. Well, now Neil pokes some fun at me. In a panel where one of the characters is watching a porno, he reaches for some lotion to help make things a little more “smooth,” if you catch my drift.
The lotion is called “Thundercat’s Seduction Lotion,” a play on my old blog Thundercat’s Seduction Lair. If you look hard enough, you’ll find it.
(What this is supposed to imply, I don’t know. Neil was always the master at backhanded compliments! =)
Now I just have to figure out a way to get Neil back. Leave any suggestions in the comment’s section.
Women Advice From Billy Bob Thornton…
September 24, 2006 by Joseph Matthews
Filed under Articles
How would you like to get women advice from the guy who married Angelina Jolie?
No, I’m not talking about Brad Pitt, I’m talking about the older, uglier dude who landed her before Golden Boy got his sloppy seconds.
I’m talking about Billy Bob Thornton.
In a recent issue of FHM (the one with naked Janet Jackson on the cover), there’s a short article about Billy Bob’s upcoming movie, School For Scoundrels.
In it, Billy Bob teaches a bunch of hopeless geeks how to be more confident and meet women…
(Kind of like what I do, but I don’t think my customers are geeks. =)
In the very short interview with Billy Bob, I found this excerpt most interesting:
From FHM Magazine:
Q: In School For Scoundrels, you teach a class of nerds how to pull chicks. What do you wish you knew before starting out with the ladies?BBT: That you shouldn’t get married if the girl asks you. That’s happened to me a few times. With women, you have to be confident, but not cocky. They like confidence with a certain vulnerability.
Now, I agree with Billy Bob on this one.
Sure, saying “You gotta be confident” isn’t a big revelation to you, I’m certain, but hear me out…
Billy Bob makes a very good distinction here, which is confidence with cockiness, and confidence with vulnerability.
Now, what do you think he means by that?
(Don’t worry, I’m about to tell you…)
Here’s my distinction:
Cockiness is about disregarding anyone’s thoughts or emotions but your own. When you’re cocky, the only reality that matters is that which exists in your own mind.
Now, there IS something to be said for being cocky. A little bit of cockiness can be attractive in a man.
BUT…
Being vulnerable is about being emotionally available.
And as we all know: Emotions are like COCAINE to chicks! They can’t get enough of them!
Displaying a bit of vulnerability allows you to establish emotional connections with women.
THIS is what gets them “into” you.
Seriously, once a woman has established a deep emotional connection with you, you’d have to admit you’re a baby-killer to get her NOT to sleep with you!
THAT’S how powerful this stuff is!
And that’s how Billy Bob landed ol’ Angelina in the first place.
So what does this mean to you?
Well, in my course The Art Of Approaching, I cover two things that no one else out there even seems to touch on:
1. How to build and establish your confidence.
2. How to create strong, lasting emotional connections with women.
Billy Bob does it naturally. I had to learn it the hard way.
BUT, it is learnable! If I can do it, then you DEFINITELY can.
Click here now to check it out!
And pretty soon, I’m sure you’ll be able to get girls that put Angelina to SHAME!
(Seriously, I used these techniques to start seeing a model! I’m a fat, hairy, bald dude, but this model is seriously into me. If it works for ugly dudes like Billy Bob and me, it’ll work for you too!)
Talk soon,
Joseph Matthews
The NEW “How To Meet Women” Blog!
September 24, 2006 by Joseph Matthews
Filed under News
Hi everyone!
So here’s the deal. This is my THIRD incarnation of blogosphere goodness. The last How To Meet Women Blog was based off of Blogger, which was okay, but I really couldn’t do much with it. The new How To Meet Women Blog is much more Pimped out, and allows me to do fun things like Podcasts, Video, and all that other good stuff.
Plus, it just LOOKS neater, which is always a good thing. =)
Some of you may know of (and be fans of) my old blog, Thundercat’s Seduction Lair. You also may have noticed I stopped updating that blog a few months ago. There have been a lot of rumors as to why I stopped updating TSL – everything from Ross Jeffries secretly having me whacked, to my “retirement” from the dating advice scene.
Well, here’s the truth of the matter:
- It was summer, and instead of being chained to my computer constantly, I wanted to get out and have fun.
- I had a semi-girlfriend who kept me rather, *ahem*, “occupied.”
- The technical aspects of the old blog were getting on my nerves. The software wasn’t that good, I had a hard time logging in to post, it was difficult for me to change the design, and I couldn’t do a lot of the multimedia stuff I wanted.
SO, this all lead me to taking down the old blog I had on this site, and designing the new one you see before you.
I’m going to keep my old Thundercat Seduction Lair blog up and running for posterity sake, because there IS a lot of great information on there, in addition to 1,000+ posts of my pick-up knowledge. But as far as I’m concerned, that site is finished. From now on, this is going to be the blog I keep updating.
In short: if you want pick up advice from yours truly, come HERE from now on!
And I make it easy. Just use some of the RSS links on the left to subscribe to this feed, so you can read my ramblings from your favorite newsreader.
I may also set things up so my articles on this blog get automatically emailed to my newsletter subscribers, so be sure to sign up for that too (which you can do in the opt in form at the top of the site).
I also plan on doing some podcasts soon, so definitely subscribe to those so you can listen to them in all their iPod-y goodness!
You’ll also notice that you can easily bookmark, email, and print out my posts now. At the bottom of every entry are a lot of colorful buttons that allow you to easily file and share my madness with others. Hey, the internet is changing, I better change with it, right?
My goal is to create the BEST dating advice blog I can, and I’d like to encourage you all to participate in it by leaving comments to my posts. You have to register with the blog to post, but it’s a pretty painless process. Oh, and I will be moderating, so all you negative nellies out there shouldn’t even waste your time.
So as always, you can count on me to deliver the best dating news, rumors, advice, tips, tricks, and spelling errors possible.
Long Live The New Blog!
