Confidence – Should You Fake It Until You Make It?
There’s an old saying out there when it comes to being confident. It goes:
“Fake it until you make it.”
Basically, this means – if you act confident (even if you don’t feel confident), eventually, you’ll become confident.
And you know what? In some situations that might actually work.
But when it comes to attracting women, this type of thinking is DANGEROUS.
Well, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a guy act like he’s confident, start approaching women, and then as soon as he gets rejected, that “confident facade” he created crumbles and he spirals into a deep, depressing, funk.
See, when you fake confidence with women, the minute that lie to yourself is shattered, all you’ve done is open yourself up to painful emotions.
Understand this: Confidence is about being secure with yourself.
That means you could get rejected a billion times, and still feel okay, because you know the rejection isn’t a reflection on who you are.
See, most guys seek validation from pretty girls because they don’t believe they’re good enough. Most guys think they’re too ugly, fat, bald, old, or whatever.
So to feel better, they seek out approval from a woman. Because if a woman is attracted to them, then they can’t be ugly, fat, bald, old, etc., right?
Well, the problem with seeking approval is that if the people you seek it from reject you, suddenly you feel as though all the bad things you believe about yourself are true!
And when that happens, you get depressed.
But someone who is secure in themselves and is truly confident doesn’t need approval from other people. That person is the source of their own validation, because they believe in themselves and don’t need to seek validation from others to feel good.
How can anyone hope to fake all that?
The answer is – YOU CAN’T!
Faking confidence never gives you REAL confidence. Eventually your fake confidence will disappear and you’ll have to deal with your insecurity and depression.
The only way to avoid this is to build up a real foundation of self-worth and confidence, so that you never have to worry about it “going away.”
And to do this, you need to do some exercises to help you eliminate your fears, insecurities, and bad beliefs, and replace them with positive things that will give you the confidence you need.
I go more in detail about how to do this in my course, The Art Of Approaching, but I’ll give you a bit of advice here that you can follow right now…
First, you need to know what are the things holding you back from success with girls? What are the bad beliefs that make you seek validation from them?
Write them down – as many of them as you can. And then ask yourself: Why do I believe these things?
Once you figure out the cause of your bad beliefs and insecurities, you can begin to address them. And when you do that, your confidence naturally starts to blossom, because you’ll realize that what made you believe the bad things about yourself in the first place aren’t really that credible now that you’ve figured out what they are.
The process of becoming secure in yourself will make you feel and act more confident over time. And the best part is, you’ll never have to worry about having your confidence shattered ever again.