How To Break-Up With Your Girlfriend

What's the right way to break up with a girl?

One of the hardest things a guy can do, despite going out and trying to find women to date – is telling a woman he’s already seeing that things just aren’t working out.

And there are a variety of reasons why a guy would want to stop seeing a girl.  Maybe he just isn’t physically attracted to her.  Maybe he doesn’t feel any emotional connection.  Maybe her personality irritates him.

Whatever the reason, the fact remains that you’re not happy with the person you are seeing, and you want to END IT.

The old saying goes – breaking up is hard to do.  And boy, they weren’t kidding.  It’s always hard to tell someone you don’t care for them the same way they do for you.  But it’s always best to do it in a way that causes the least amount of pain possible.

The first thing to remember is that the sooner you do this, the better.  If you know early on you don’t want to go deeper into a relationship, cut things off quickly instead of leading the girl on.  This will make the separation easier.

Sometimes, you may be tempted to keep the girl around until something better comes along.  But don’t do this.  Prolonging something you know isn’t going to work out won’t do either of you any good.

Don’t start avoiding the person, or worse yet, ignoring them.  Doing this will cause them to think they did something wrong to upset you, and eventually that will turn into resentment for you.

Remember that you always want to end things with a woman so that should you want to come back to her at some point down the road, you’ll be able to (even if, in all likelihood, you won’t).

You never want to burn a bridge and give up your ability to influence a woman by having a bad break up, or dumping her in the wrong way.  When you do break the news, try and do it gently.

Make sure you’re there in person.  If that’s too hard for you, at least talk to her on the phone.  Don’t leave a message or text her your decision.  Have the courtesy to tell her in person.

When you break the news, let her know that it has been hard for you to come to this decision, because she is a great girl.  But for whatever reason, you don’t feel the chemistry you need to be in a relationship with her.

Let her know you still value her and want to be her friend (even if you don’t), and then ask her what she thinks.

Usually, she will want to know why it is you don’t feel that special chemistry you need to be in a relationship.  When she asks this, let her know this just wasn’t the right time for you, and that you don’t really know what you’re looking for.

Being vague will help spare the girl’s feelings.

And here’s the kicker – apologize to her for not feeling the chemistry!  Let her know you’re sorry and you wish it was different.  This will actually help the girl to regain some feeling of power in the interaction, which will lessen the hurt of rejection.

Make it clear you want to end things on good terms with her, and ask her what it would take to still be friends.  By putting the ball in her court, you’ll be allowing her to tell you how to proceed.

Just remember not to be a jerk about things, and don’t allow yourself to get dragged into an argument or some type of emotional drama.  Stay calm, relaxed, and sympathetic, and calmly let the girl know that you’re sorry about breaking up, but its the best thing for both of you.

And even if there’s someone else you’re breaking up with her for, don’t let her know about it!  Flaunting a new relationship in her face will only make matters worse.  If she asks, just tell her it has nothing to do with you seeing someone else, its just that you don’t feel like you can give her the type of relationship she wants, and you’re breaking up because you don’t think its fair to HER if you kept things going.

And if necessary, allow yourself to be the bad guy.  This can be hard, because the inclination when things get heated and uncomfortable is to argue.  But if she starts getting upset and blaming you about things, don’t let her suck you into an argument.  Just say “Sorry you feel that way,” and then leave.  If you need to talk to her further, you can always wait until she calms down.

When it comes to breaking up, be an adult about it.  Do what needs to be done, and move on.  It may be uncomfortable, but ultimately, its for the best.