How To Overcome Being Shy Around Women
One of the hardest emotions for a man to deal with isn’t anger, sadness, or depression. It’s SHYNESS.
Shyness is the gateway to all the negative emotions I just listed, because shyness is the one thing that actually works to IMPEDE us from achieving what we desire.
When a man gives into his shyness, he doesn’t talk to the women he likes. He doesn’t take a chance on making a new friend. He doesn’t do ANYTHING. He just sits by himself, wallowing in self-pity and fear.
And before he knows it, his feelings of loneliness and inadequacy become overwhelming, and he becomes depressed.
All because he is shy.
So why does this happen? Why are some men so prone to give into their shyness?
First, realize that shyness is a behavior that stems from what MIGHT happen.
Let’s say you see a girl you like, and want to talk to. But before you can, all sorts of scenerios flash through your mind…
You can see her rejecting you.
You can see her laughing at you.
You can see yourself being upset after saying the wrong thing to her.
As I said – ANY NUMBER of possibilities exist. And even if we’re aware of it or not, these possibilities run through our minds when we feel the need to take action regarding a girl.
And our SHYNESS is a defense mechanism to try and PROTECT ourselves from experiencing those bad outcomes!
But the problem is that if we don’t risk the bad outcomes, we’ll never get any GOOD outcomes either!
At it’s core, shyness is the fear of being judged harshly. Someone who’s shy doesn’t want to be subjected to the opinions of others, typically because:
1. They believe those opinions will always be negative
2. They do not have a strong sense of self esteem, and feel vulnerable.
And it’s even worse when dealing with a beautiful girl because there’s the element of “validation” at play. If a beautiful girl rejects us, not only is it a harsh judgement, but we must also be UGLY too, right?
To make matters worse, shyness in men is far more crippling than shyness in women.
A shy woman will still have men approaching and pursuing her. However, because of the dynamics of the dating game, shy men will rarely, if EVER, be pursued by a woman – even if the woman LIKES him and is attracted to him!
Shy guys often fantasize about having a woman come up to them and ask them out. But this is just a way to rationalize their shyness. In their mind, they’re hoping to be the one that is pursued because then they don’t have to risk anything by being the pursuer.
However, this is never the case. 99% of women wait for the men to come after THEM.
Essentially, you have shy guys isolating themselves from success in love, not only due to their inability to act, but also due to their contentedness to continue being shy.
So what’s the solution?
The only way to break through shyness is to adopt different behaviors and thought patterns that promote a better outcome.
One must learn to gain confidence in himself, so that he is not vulnerable to the judgement of others for his self esteem.
One must learn to take action when necessary, and seize opportunities as they present themselves.
One must learn to see the positive outcomes as well as the negative ones, and choose to strive for the positive.
And this can all be done, with a little instruction, patience, and practice!
It’s a long process, but it’s well-worth the effort, because in the end, when you overcome your shyness and find the woman of your dreams, you’ll be happier than you ever thought possible.