What To Do When Women Break Dates

Why do women break dates with you?

We’ve all been in the situation where we’re getting ready for a date, looking forward to spending time with a particularly attractive girl, and then the hammer drops…

Something came up.  She can’t make it.

Whether it’s legitimate or an excuse, the end result is the same – she just broke your date.

Take a minute and think of all the women you’ve ever made plans to go out with.  Think of the ones you stood up or cancelled on, and think of the ones that you didn’t.  Ever notice that you hardly ever cancel on someone that you’re TRULY interested in?

If you REALLY liked that person, very little would cause you to cancel your time with them – and if for some reason you absolutely had to, you’d be sure to reschedule as soon as possible.

So if a girl cancels on you, chances are she isn’t that into you because if the date was important, she would have tried to make it out.

But it gets even worse than that.

Let’s say the girl is interested in you on some level.  When she cancels on you, the act of cancelling actually makes her like you LESS.  That’s right – canceling dates actually gives the girl a reason not to like you!

This is a phenomenon psychologists refer to as “cognitive dissonance.”  Basically, the way it works is that whenever we do something that goes against our values – such as lying when you consider yourself an honest person, or doing something mean when you consider yourself to be nice – it creates a disharmony (dissonance) in our minds.

Our minds search for a way to explain why our actions are not in keeping with our perception of ourselves.  They do this by making a sort of excuse for our actions.  For example, after you’re mean to someone, saying that the person DESERVED your mean treatment makes it easier to understand why you would do something like that.

When a girl cancels on you, she may think of herself as a very kind person normally, but she tells herself that she cancelled on you because you were not her type, or not attractive enough, or not interesting enough, or whatever.  She’ll tell herself these things and BELIEVE THEM even if they aren’t really true, because on a subconscious level, she’s looking to justify her actions.

However, this idea of cognitive dissonance works both ways.

Whenever someone does something NICE for you, it makes them like you MORE.  Even something simple, a small favor.  It doesn’t even matter how small!

Doing something nice will cause her to justify why she did it.  Maybe you’re someone special?  Maybe you’re different from all these other guys she usually hangs out with.

So when a girl is going to break a date with you, try and ask her to do you some type of favor in return to “make up for it.”  This way, you’ll cancel out the dissonance she’ll experience.

Saying something like “Great, now you’ve mad me sad I’m not gonna get to hang out with you tonight.  Do me a favor – tell me a quick joke to cheer me up.”

Something as simple as this can keep you from letting that cancellation become a full-blown brush off!

And whatever you do, don’t get upset with a girl if she breaks a date with you.  Sometimes, girls do have legitimate excuses to cancel a date.  Let’s face it – life happens.  And if you act all upset or indignant with a girl for having to cancel a date, she may not want to reschedule a time to see you!  After all, maybe she does like you, and does have a legitimate reason for not being able to hang out, but your bad attitude scared her off?

When a girl does cancel on you, always, always, always try and reschedule as soon as possible.  If she’s kind enough to call or text you to let you know she can’t make it, ask her when would be a better time to go out?  If she can’t commit to rescheduling the date, then something’s up and she really doesn’t want to see you for some reason.

If that’s the case, try and move on.  See some other girls, but try her again in a few days to see if she wants to get together.  I’ll usually give a girl 3 chances to meet up before I forget about her and move on with my life.  After all, if a girl can’t commit to spending time with you after three attempts, then its never going to happen anyway.

And if she just stands you up, don’t get angry or upset.  Try to find out what happened first.  Call her, text her, see what happened.  Some guys get really bent out of shape over being stood up, and honestly, its understandable.  But that doesn’t mean you should act like a jerk – at least not until you know what’s going on.

Always remember:  Your time has value too!  So be respectful until someone chooses to obviously not value it.